Kuma's Place

Well Hell, it's been a while.

2010-12-16T03:35:00.002-12:00

It has been quite a while since I posted anything. Two years & a month to be exact. Life has had me busy. So much has gone on that I am not sure where to start to catch it all back up! But it's cathartic to be here again so maybe, just maybe, I'll be back. For a while at least.

Today's Political Call Update

2008-10-22T07:36:00.002-12:00

Today's update on the political calls. You'd think they'd have learned to use ONLY the robo dialer here, but noooooooo. If you've donated to the RNC, you get the "privilege" of a "live" phone call from the Wasington headquarters. I found out my hubby has donated in the past. Yup- I nipped THAT in the bud. ahem, today's call ( I just can't make this up)Ring Ring ( I saw the same # on the caller ID & GLEEFULLY answered it)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Good Afternoon, this is Jody with the Republican National Committee in Washington DC. May I please speak with Jeffrey E. Millner or Mrs. Millner please? ( I see she's been warned about me? huh).
Me: Hello Jody with the RNC, why?Caller: Is this Mrs. Millner?Me: No it's not.
Caller: Oh, is Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner there?
Me: No they are not, is there something I can't help you with?Caller: (pause of silence)Uhhm... Me: Um is not a word my dear, try for something more articulate please.
Caller: Uhm...(in a whisper) oh dear god it's her! (I KID YOU NOT!)
Me: And I repeat, uhm is not a word.
Caller: My I please speak with a registered vote living at that address?
Me: Oh sure you may my dear. (and I wait....silently for hr to say anything at all.)
Caller: oh, cool........
Me: Would you like to speak with me now or by the time the votes are cast in November?
Caller: uhm, uhm....
Me: Dear, keep up or take notes. You're Jody calling from the RNC in Washington DC & you would like to speak with a registered voter living at this address.
Caller: oh oh, yes! Is Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner there please?
Me: No they aren't may I take a message?
Caller: well, uhm, if they aren't there & I am talking to a registered voter at this address, then who are you?
Me: Sweetheart, YOU called MY house, so you tell me WHO are you looking for?
Caller: (I can hear the sob in her throat at this point) Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner please? (she ended that in a near whisper! God I am so loving this at this point).
Me: Well I'm sorry, but Jeff is at work and Mrs. Millner is registered to vote under her home address not ours... at least she'd better be!
Caller: But, But, but....
Me: You're repeating yourself my dear.
Caller: If you are a registered voter at that address aren't you Mrs. Millner?
Me: Nope. That's my husband's mother. Now is there something I can help you with?
Caller: Can we talk? (and I hear in the background...DON'T say that to HER!)
Me: Obviously there is an echo on this line because Jody, I swear I hear extra verbiage breaking in on this line. And no you may not speak with me. You did not call here asking for me, you asked for Jeff or Mrs. Millner. Sorry, you lose. Have a nice day. Shall we try again in another day or so?

Click.
I am a registered voter, at this address in fact. But she kept asking for Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner. My name legally is not Millner. It's Spivey-Millner. So in all fairness, she wasn't asking for me.. but my mother-in-law. Hey, She doesn't live here. So I wasn't lying in my response of they weren't there & no, you can't talk to me because you didn't ask for me. It's semantics, but it's fun.

Ring Ring- Hello?

2008-10-21T03:12:00.002-12:00

That was me yesterday when our home phone rang at 3:30 pm. I was working from home and usually I tend to ignore the home phone during "working hours" and let the machine pick up (hey, if I WAS at an office-I wouldn't be there to pick it up rightBut I decided to answer it out of curiosity. So here is the conversation as it occurs yesterday:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi, is Jeffrey Millner there? (first sign this is a political call-they ask for the full name of the registered person)
Me: No, he's not.
Caller: Oh, then may I speak to Jeff Millner please?(second sign I'm dealing with an idiot)
Me: Nope. You can't.
Caller: Are you sure I can't speak with Jeffrey Millner?
Me: Well it depends.
Caller: Depends on what Ma'am (third mistake-the dufus just called ME ma'am)
Me: On who this is, why you want to talk to him & if I can dig him out of the backyard fast enough for you to talk to him in time before he suffocates.
Caller: So he's busy right now? (really? are you kidding me here?)
Me: Yup, I'd say he's busy.
Caller: Well then, can I talk to you? Me:Depends. Caller: Depends on what ma'am?
Me: Depends on how long you can keep asking me this.
Caller: So you'll talk to me?
Me: Nope.
Caller: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm calling from the Republican National committee & I'm looking to speak with Jeffrey Millner.
Me: Really?
Caller: Yes Ma'am I am. Can I talk to him? (you get the feeling I'm not dealing with someone who's elevator goes to the top floor?)
Me:I don't know, can you?
Caller: Um, ok ... MAY I talk with Jeffrey Millner ma'am?
Me: Nope. (this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better then work, I really need to answer the home phone more during the day!)
Caller: pretty please?
Me: Nope. He's at work.
Caller: You just said he was out in the back yard.
Me: And I also implied that I buried him & he was suffocating & that went right over your head so sarcasm is obviously NOT one of your finer points so I'm opting for honesty since you'll probably not believe that either.
Caller: So he's not there? Me: Nope. Caller: So can I talk to you then?
Me: Nope.
Caller: Why not ma'am? Me: Because you didn't say the magic words. Caller: But I did say pretty please.
Me: Not for me you didn't, for Jeff you did.
Caller: May I plese speak with you then ma'am? Me: Nope. Caller:( at this point he is nearly in tears) ok, I said the magic words, I'm calling from the Republican National committee & would like to speak with Jeffrey Millner or you about how you're going to vote in this upcoming election.
Me: Son, did you say that all in one breath?
Caller: Yes ma'am I did. Can we talk?
Me: I don't know Joan Rivers, can we?
Caller: I'm not Joan Rivers!
Me: Look young man, there is no reason for you to take that tone with me and raise your voice at me for no good reason when I politely took your call today.
Caller: (sigh) I'm sorry ma'am. May I please.....
Me: Nope. You can't. Do you even know my name? Caller: I called Jeffrey... Me: Yes, you called Jeffrey, you didn't call ME. My name isn't Jeffrey so why should I talk to you?
Caller: Thank you for your time ma'am.
Click.

You know, the youth of today are so impatient & rude. I can keep this up for hours

Hotel deadbolts are NOT just for asthetics!

2008-07-29T05:49:00.002-12:00

I am more then halfway through my study close outs at 10 sites. Sigh. As of today I'm in Florida. until tomorrow then next it's Rhode Island & South Carolina and then I'm DONE!! Traveling for a little while at least. LOL. So I had the most fun today. Traveling for me is an interesting experience to say the least. Never a dull moment by any means. Although I went to two new airports today (Philadelphia & State College) I did nnot fall in either! woooohoooooooooo! Oh no, an even better experience awaited me at my hotel! Read on & see! By the way people, hotel room deadbolts are NOT just for looks! USE THEM!
Now, I have seen this happen once recently & have heard of it a bunch of times but have never had it happen to me. Till now.
Last week I was in Pennsylvania going to two sites and I checked in to my hotel Monday and looked forward to throwing my stuff in the room & going across the street to grab a bite to eat. I lug my bag & computer case down the hall, balancing my cup of coffee in my hand while pulling the bags. I fumble with the key card & get it to open the door. I start to walk in the room and think nothing of the cold room (sometimes housekeeping does that) and ignore the LOUD TV thinking it’s coming from next door. I walk in to find two VERY surprised people in a manner that is worthy of any adult movie store poster.

What would you have done or said at this point? "Excuse me folks?" or "oops my bad" or "I’m sorry" or blushed? Then you aren’t me are you?

I proceed to drop my coffee, mumble a slight profanity ( I had that cup fixed up just perfect too!) & the only thing I can say to these people: Have you ever heard of using the deadbolts & safety latch people? I get back down to the front desk & the guy won’t even look at me without cringing. I say to him: I take it room 223 just called down here ahead of me huh? He is beat red & hands me a new key. I ask him : no surprises in this one ok? I’m going to try & get a new cup of coffee. I left my other one in their room. You realize this happened because my flights went too well to get up here. Only a 9 minute delay in my originating city. That’s a new record for me! Happy Monday!

WIKKA CHIKKA BOW BOWWM

2008-01-01T01:54:00.000-12:00

You are sitting in the doctor's office. Imagine the sound of cheesy porno music while you are getting ready to watch a video on vasectomies. Yes, cringe factor abounds huh? A couple of months ago I had the chance to experience just such an.....enlightening experience. Sigh. We watched this horridly scripted mini movie on the pros & cons of male vasectomy. I watched my husband out of the corner of my eye as we purveyed this video. OH MY GOD! I have never seen a person squirm so much before! LOL!

Final decision at the end of this visit : guess I'm getting an IUD. LOL. And you know what? We saw his doctor for all of 7 minutes. And our insurance company is STILL getting charged major bucks for us watching a freaking movie! And I didn't even get a box of junior mints or popcorn to enjoy wit this. Sigh.

Because the other one was the ROUGH DRAFT

2008-01-01T01:47:00.000-12:00

How the hell should I know which one was the rough draft? Especially since the first one I received (TWICE) was titled: Final draft. ah-hem..... freaking concussed elfin nuyouuriiiiiiicans. LOL. Oh god, I'm i n trouble now huh? shit.

OH look! there goes Elvis! oooooooooooooh, look at the pretty lights! ummmmmm, enjoy THIS picture! It now graces my laptop desktop. Sigh. Big smile!

I Am Honored!

2007-12-31T03:13:00.000-12:00

Mia has the most amazing mom. Her mom is quite a gifted artist and I have always admired her work that Mia sends to me. I became quite enraptured of something her mom did as a surprise for Mia for Christmas & used it as a desktop background for my laptop because I was that entranced by it! Maggie created something for me that I can use on my laptop. I absolutely love it! I am so honored that she did this for me! I sent it to hubby so he could print it out for me on photo paper so that I could hang it above my desk in the new home office when I start my new job next week!

What do you do when it hurts so much to let go?

2007-12-27T02:19:00.000-12:00

She is the love of my young adult life. The last vestige of a past I have treasured for the most part. A reminder, a link, a part of my soul. A big piece of my life goes with her when she is gone. I can't believe that Iwrote THIS a year ago when I was absolutely terrified I was losing her because she'd fallen into the pool at my mom's house & ended up having another stroke. It took her almost a week to kick back into her original frame of mind, and it was a rough go that whole week for me when I had debated to take her to the vet one final time. She stayed with me a whole year and 2 months more after that fateful day! I've loved them all as my own children. Each with their own personalities & behaviors. Each leaving an indelible stamp on my heart. For every "child" I raised & loved & watched pass on & leave me behind, I think this one hurts the most by far. My daughter. My companion. My best friend. My savior. My soul. I love you. I will always remember you my sweet Kini. Thank you for staying with me for so long, much longer then you should have. I am grateful for it and for you having been in my life. Be free of pain, free of the mortal coils of this life. Romp, run, play. I'll see again my precious poodle.

Beach Baby's Black Bikini Ardynis. RIP

That's One Pised Off Cat!

2007-12-20T02:10:00.000-12:00

See what happens when I run out of yogurt & have none to share with this guy? He was sitting next to me on a stool pawing at my arm wanting his share of my breakfast. If I don't give this little turd any, he gets all pissy with me & decides he will run into my ankles at a top speed! Nice huh? He's such an asshole. I work & buy groceries to keep his happy feet stomping on me in my sleep. Nice. I'm a slave.

I am such a wilting slacker!

2007-12-20T01:56:00.000-12:00

I have been such a slacker as of late. OK, sort of. Not in all areas of my life. Just here to be honest with myself. I hope to change that in the new year. Oh yeah! A resolution! LOL.

Seriously though, I have been busy the last couple of months finishing up protocols at work. I have been training a replacement coordinator who will step in & finish my role on some of my clinical research studies that I have been working on. Those last 2 are i the final phases so I feel comfortable leaving them in her capable hands. How could I not? She used to run her own research site and has been a CRA for the last 10 years! No worries for me on GCP standards! Heck, this is the woman who trained me to be the best CRC I could be. Now it's my turn to step out into the world as a Clinical Research Associate! I've been waiting for this for almost 3 years now. How nice your life changes when you have a stroke to sideline you huh?

So I figure that between traveling & my at home office, I'll be on here more then I used to be. Yeah right! Who the hell am I kidding? LOL. OK OK, I know, I'm a slacker. So what? LOL!

Well Lick My Ass & Call Me a Stamp!

2007-11-06T05:09:00.000-12:00

I was sitting in my office the other day listening to my father go on & on about nothing in particular. OK, not really. I tend to tune him out most of the time. I have to. It's the only way I get work done but he THINKS I'm listening to him, which is what really matters right? Riiiiiiiight..

As I'm sitting there working on a fairly heinous computer issue with a protocol specific piece of machinery (otherwise known as a cheap piece of shit the study sponsor fobbed off on me), I came across the root of the evil that I was working on all of a sudden. Without thinking I blurted out: Well Lick My Ass & Call Me a Stamp! Needless to say my dad just stared at me.

Ah well, it just goes to show you what the brain will come up with at the weirdest moments.

WTF-What Happened to Thanksgiving?

2007-11-05T01:02:00.000-12:00

WTF??? What happened to Thanksgiving?
Seriously. Since Halloween had barely occurred & stores were already rearranging their Spooky displays into small corners to make way for the Christmas shit to come out! I mean come on! What happened to Thanksgiving? I used to work retail for years and I know that commercialism was pushing certain holidays more then others, but to basically negate Turkey day all together???? Even before Halloween was celebrated I saw stores like Sears & Lowe's bringing out & setting up their fake Xmas trees & lawn decorations. Um folks-let's celebrate Halloween & Thanksgiving first please?
I know Halloween has become more of an adult holiday & party thing & that's OK I guess, it was bound to happen. I mean hell, I grew up so it had to age alongside of me right? But to basically disregard a holiday like Thanksgiving & to go straight into Christmas? Before all of my N/A friends jump my shit- I don't celebrate Thanksgiving like most here in the US do. My family celebrates it like Canadians do- a chance to see family & break bread together. I do NOT see it as the whole pilgrims & natives bs broo ha-ha. Heck, I wouldn't mind if we celebrated Thanksgiving in October like the Canadian side of my family does. It would make more sense to me that way. Especially since corporate commercial America just blows right on by it any way it can to get our $$$ in it's pockets by bludgeoning our kids every day with commercials for the hottest must-haves that will be forgotten in a week's time for the newest toys of the New Year.
Don;t believe me? Come to our house less then a week after Christmas-my stepson is already forgotten about the shit he begged for/demanded throughout the previous 3 months & on to new wants & needs. Sigh. I can remember helping my husband clean out that kid's room 2 years ago & finding unopened Christmas gifts that he had gotten the prior year from his grandparents that had not been played with or looked at since the evening we got home from celebrating with his family. These items were dumped into the back of his closet & promptly forgotten. Hell, we could have been sneaky & just re gifted them to the kid come Christmas & I don't think he would have been any the wiser for it.
Just My Opinion mind you.

Almost 10 months

2007-10-10T02:51:00.000-12:00

It's been almost 10 months since this picture was taken. I don't allow a whole lot of pics of me to be taken too often. Just the way I am. In less then three months, I'll be back up in St. Augustine, Florida. The oldest continuously occupied city in North America. I love it there. I hope the weather is cool when I get there. I love cooler weather. Reminds me of Connecticut growing up.

Yes, I still tend to hide my left hand in most pictures. I prefer it that way as well. I think I miss the person I used to be more then anything else. Or rather, what that person used to be able to do. I don't know if it will ever come back.

I can't believe how quickly the last 10 months have flown by though. I know that I am walking better at least. Don't get me wrong! I still trip over my own feet quite often, and I twist around in a little funky chicken dance or veer to the left-as if I'd been hitting the sauce secretly on the side (hush Mia). I know that I am using the hand a little bit more then I used to, like for opening the frig door & holding cans. It still hurts all the time though. The pain is, inconsequential in the greater scheme of things really. I can't care less about the pain. I just want to tie my own shoes, put my hair up in a ponytail, cut my own food up. Little things like that, people take for granted every day. I know I "feel" the motions that my hand wants to make to do those things. I know that the muscle memory is there. I just can't make the feeling & the memory connect to work in conjunction with one another.

It's been 25 months since my stroke. I am glad I am alive. I just wish I was able to do more with this life.

I've been given a task

2007-10-09T05:33:00.000-12:00

I was charged with the task of keeping a friend from being bored at work. So I am sharing apicture of one of my cats sleeping.

Let's see, what else can I come up with?.................................................................................................

we can all see just how many ideas I have come up with to keep him amused.

1. coffee run
2.shop for headphones
3.smoke a cigarette
4.poke bears with sticks

Amazing how the issue arises that I have to keep him amused because he decided to actually go in to work today. Sigh. I hope he appreciates this post.

In need of an intervention

2007-10-09T03:58:00.000-12:00

It's Britney Bitch. Snickering. Yeah right. I can almost imagine this sloth bunny stumbling around bumping & grinding to "Gimme More". Nah, this sloth bunny is way too tired & lazy for that. I swear an intervention is needed to save this critter from it's own slothlikeness.

Noted.

Tuesday's Randomness

2007-10-09T03:06:00.000-12:00

It's Tuesday. And this is supposed to mean what in my little nucleus of life? That when one more day passes, it will be the middle of the week? Faaaaaaaa. When days tend to blend together like a badly rendered Impressionist painting, what's the point?

I had a dream last night. Odd one at that. Reminiscent of Jurassic Park 3 when the fossil guy was sitting in the plane & had fallen asleep, only to awake to Velociraptors talking to him in his assistant's voice. I thought I had awaken in this dream & yet I found myself watching my brother's German Shepperd Panzer sitting ion the couch playing video games& talking to me with a hideous German accent. I really need to be careful about what I eat for dinner too close to my bed time. I swear I'm a strange bird.

Horrid night last night. I spent most of it watching TV in the living room because I couldn't sleep & when I did eventually drift off, I dreamt about my brother's dog. Meh. Most of last night was spent listening to Kini wander around the house in her old age, huffing & chuffing, looking for me. It's so sad to see my pup getting so old. The cats were no help either, running across my legs while I lay in bed, which prompted me to move out of Paulie & Kc's range to the couch. I should have gone online last night & surfed the web. But I was too tired. Now I'm even more tired then I was at 3:30 am! Ack!

The weekend is fast approaching & I need to start prepping food items for a casual get together at the house. Wish my northern friends could fly down. I miss Michele. One of these days I need to get my ass up to NYC & see her & her husband. Sigh. And I am going to find the time for that from where? I need to get my behind to the grocery store & pick up aforementioned food items. I hate shopping by myself these days at the grocery store. Pain in the ass ordeal that it is. What the hell prompted me to get this shindig together? I have no clue... oh wait. Yeah, that's the ticket! It's for Hubby's "Last of the 30's" birthday celebration.

It's Tuesday. I have no energy at the moment. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I need a cup of coffee.

Shadows

2007-10-08T23:36:00.000-12:00

What is a shadow? If you look it up in a dictionary it can be both a noun as well as a transitional verb:

Definition:

1. darkened shape of something in light: a darkened shape on a surface that falls behind somebody or something blocking the light
2. darkness: relative darkness in a place that is being screened or blocked off from direct sunlight- Part of the room was in shadow.
3. hint of something: a slight suggestion or hint of somethingbeyond the shadow of a doubt
4. ominous gloom: a depressing or ominous gloom The news cast a shadow over the party.
5. threat: an ever-present threat or blight living under the shadow of environmental disaster
6. dark area under eyes: a darkened area of skin under the eyes, usually caused by fatigue
7. overshadowed state: a state in which somebody is always overshadowed by another persongrew up in his brother's shadow
8. regular companion: somebody who is the invariable companion of somebody else
9. person secretly trailing another: somebody who secretly follows somebody, e.g. a detective or spy
10. inferior remnant: a remnant of somebody or something formerly greater or more important, now a shadow of her former self
11. arts paranormal copy: an imitation or copy of something Same as shade (sense 5) (sense 9) the shadow of the stars in the dark lake
12. shelter: something that provides protection
13. business somebody learning by observation: somebody who learns a job by observing the person who regularly does the job
14. medicine atypical area in X-ray: an atypical area showing up on an X-ray
15. psychoanalysis Jungian archetype: in Jungian psychology, the archetype that represents sexual and aggressive instincts inherited from a more primitive stage of humanity

What is a shadow to me? It is a memory. A fleeting glimpse at something or someone from our past that intersects with our life in the here & now. It has the ability to make us reminisce with fondness or sadness. For a fleeting moment or two, it allow our minds to wander into other realms, momentarily lost in that day dream world of what ifs & might haves. A memory that can make us smile or cry. Can warm our hearts or freeze our souls. It all depends on how you as a person reacts to the shadows within your life.

Ever get the feeling you're being watched?

2007-09-13T00:22:00.000-12:00

There are some days that the hair on the back of my neck stirs & I get this crawling sensation across my scalp. I know there is no one else in the house and yet, I can't shake the feeling. I'll be sitting at the counter with my back to the room and all of a sudden I get creeped out. As if there was a soundtrack and there should be spooky music playing like in a horror movie when the dumb ass is going to walk back in to a darkened room & a psychopathic slasher dude is waiting behind the door for them.
I get this feeling a lot when I am by myself in the house. I just don't get it. Until a couple of months ago while I was sitting at the kitchen counter fiddling with my camera. A chill ran through me as if someone had walked across my grave. The hair on the back of my neck bristled & I was covered in goose bumps. I felt like I was being stared at. I turned around slowly with my camera still in my hand & this is what I saw. This little terrorist was giving me the look of death behind my back. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that just about every time I had that spooky feeling-he was in the room or just walking out of it. You like that? Little bugger. He is definitely on my shit list now. No catnip for you for a while you little asshole.

I need to start a 12 step program

2007-09-11T03:31:00.000-12:00

I married a geek. I know this. I accept it. I am so proud of my husband though. He is exceedingly smart, a gentle soul, kind caring, and so much more. But he is still a geek. Most of his friends are geeks as well. He usually works on highly classified shuttle program stuff & more.

If you could see me, you would see that my eyes are rolling in their sockets a staccato beat with pronounced sighs in accompaniment. This video is what is making the rounds right now amongst all the NASA I/T contractors & more. They are all a bunch of geeks. If you're wondering, it's a video from an infrared camera at an airport. Yes, I said infrared. Means it picks up heat signature waves. It's used in airports to detect radioactive particles & more. Watch and you'll see what is amusing the shit out of all the IT & System Admin folks.

I so need to start a 12-step program for those of us married to geeks. Loveable though they are.

He's Becoming Domesticated

2007-09-11T00:25:00.000-12:00

It brought a tear to my eye when I heard from a friend that he wanted to buy a vacuum cleaner. I was so proud of him! Now, if I could get him to do his own laundry....yeah fat chance of that.

He emailed me the other day asking my opinion on vacuum cleaners-you know, me being the domestic goddess that I am (jealous aren't you? Yeah, I hear the envy oozing from your voice-don't try to hide it!) I gave him my opinion on several makes & models & he sent me a link to a canister one. I don't remember which one exactly now- a Eureka or something (yes, I know this is a picture of a Hoover model. Cut me some slack ok?) I was just so pleased that A- he was going to buy one and B-he asked MY opinion on it. I felt honored. Of course I promptly gave him shit about doing his own laundry, remember this guy?

He tells me that he's finally ready to take better care of his apartment, you know, because he's growing up. Yes, my eyes are rolling here. snickering. OK, I'm just proud of the fact that he wants to own a vacuum! What scares me is he's lived there for over 5 years I think & this is his FIRST vacuum! WTF???? Yes my OCD is making me titch right now. I want to go up there & scrub his place down from floor to ceiling, vacuum EVERYTHING, wash windows, floorboards, the kitchen floor.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! twitch twitch twitch.

I am proud of him though. It's a start.

You've Got Nice Shoes

2007-08-27T02:34:00.001-12:00

When I first started working at Home Depot back in my earlier years, I remember a pair of brothers. Everyone called them Pete & RePete because even though Pete was perfectly fine, his younger brother was slightly mentally disabled. Pete took it upon himself to take care of his brother always. You'd see them walking around together everywhere: in the mall, grocery stores, Depot, and more. I don't think anyone knew what Pete's brother's name was, everyone just called him RePete because he would echo everything his brother said. He was a kind soul and would never harm a fly. I had been in depot for maybe a month and even though I had seen Pete & RePete in the mall before, I had never interacted with either of them before. RePete was trailing along behind his brother when Pete came up to me in the Paint department wanting some help getting a certain color matched for his brother's room that he was going to be painting. I was more then happy to help him out. We discussed the room, & what was in it colorwise, if he wanted washable paint, etc. etc. All this time, I'm keeping an eye on RePete very discretely while Pete was preoccupied choosing a color. My friend Scottie walked through my department and RePete just stood there staring down at Scottie's shoes with his "thinking face" on (as his brother calls it-me I thought he was letting out an SBD and trying to make sure it wouldn't squeak and give him away).
Suddenly RePete throws his arms around Scottie and hugs him tight. Both Pete & I stood there, as if rooted in place like dumbstruck spectators at an impromptu bar fight. Scottie looks like Mr. Clean & to see this big guy being hugged by a smaller, shorter version of himself (bald head & all) was kind of cute. Scottie looks down at RePete and hugs him back. Everyone knew that Repete was not into sudden displays of affection with someone he hasn't known all of his life. It's just the way he is. RePete's face is alight with joy and a smile is plastered on his face as he points to Scottie's sneakers and says "I like your shes. Nice shoes. I want shoes like yours. I like your shoes!" It was a banner day! Pete said that his brother NEVER spoke in front of strangers unless it was to echo his own statements. Pete was nearly in tears over it and so happy. It was a break through of sorts. Scottie stood there smiling & very gently unwrapped RePete's arms from around his waist & pats him on the head & tells him to visit him any time he's in the store.
After that, we would see Pete & RePete at least 2-3 times a week in the store. He would seek out Scottie and hug him and once he even very shyly gave me a wild flower he had picked himself without telling his brother why. I always made sure I had his favorite mints "hidden" at the paint counter in an empty unused quart can for him to "discover" on his own. I worked there for almost 4 years before one day deciding that working 2 full time jobs was going to kill me. I handed in my resignation with my two week notice and hoped like hell I'd see Pete & RePete to explain why he wouldn't see me anymore there in paint & to give him a gift. I almost didn't leave after he started crying when I told him about my imminent departure. He loved the sneakers I gave him, they looked just like a pair that Scottie had & he put them on right then & there & showed them off to Scottie. It took so very little to make that gentle man cry & I felt like a monster for doing so. He swore he understood though & whenever he would see me in the grocery store or mall, he would run up to me & hug me & babble like crazy about shoes he had seen & really liked.
Our shared grocery store closed down & a new one opened up so I started going elsewhere to get my groceries. I got caught up in dating my husband ?6 eventually we married and a few years had passed since I'd seen Pete & RePete out anywhere. Hubby & I were in Depot the other day when he spotted the brothers walking in through the doors & he asked me if I had ever seen them walking around before, they were pretty famous for this & everyone seemed to know them by these names (I still never knew what RePete's real name was & his brother called him RePete as well, lovingly of course). Just as I was about to answer him, RePete caught sight of me and ran up to me, smiles wreathing his face. He hugged me, very carefully since he saw the leg & hand brace & was very curious as to what had happened to me. He wanted to know if I was coming back since no one stocked his favorite mints for him anymore. I opened my purse & pulled out a brand new small bag of them I had just purchased that very morning before going to Depot. I don't know what made me buy them, as I hadn't bough them in a long time. I was glad I had though and he was thrilled beyond tears to realize that I had remembered his favorite & just happened to have them for him! He told me that he was glad Scottie had come back to Depot & that he had reeeeeeeeeeaaallllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy nice new shoes on! Scottie came up behind RePete and patted him on the head in greeting and RePete squealed in delight & just yammered on to the both of us at everything he was doing that weekend. People parted around us, some in amazement that RePete could talk & others surprised at his loquaciousness with Scottie & I. Pete hugged me and thanked me for everything I had ever done for his brother. RePete proudly showed off his sneakers to me. The ones that I had given him 4 years earlier. He told me how he kept them clean & only wore them on special days so he'd always have them. After a few more minutes, I said my goodbyes & told RePete what grocery store I shopped in & on what days so that we could see each other sometimes. Hubby walked out of the store with me holding my hand. He told me that he was amazed at ow many people's lives I touched & never took credit for any of it. My response: Leave the world a better place then how you found it. And there was more to meet the eye in many people, if you just take the chance to find out.

There's A Reason I Never Wanted To Have Kids

2007-08-27T02:04:00.000-12:00

There is. I had forgotten it, and was actually considered asking hubby if he wanted to try for a little girl or something. You know, like lottery tickets & shit, there is always a belief that you'll get a winner! After this weekend, I remembered why I vowed never to give birth to something that I'd end up paying out the ASS for as well as threatening to kill on a regular basis!
Yup, it was our weekend to have my stepson. Ordinarily he's a great kid. I swear! I've known him since he was 5 years old and usually, dealing with his typical little boy tantrums is easily ignorable and even laughable. NOT LATELY! Oh My God! I could not wait for Monday 7am to roll on in & escape! I don't know what has come over this child as of late! He has ADD and him being on his medication is a catch 22. Yes he's focused and not hyper when he's on it, but he gets mean while he's on it. I've been asking hubby to take the kid to see his pediatrician & get a referral to a new therapist & see what other meds are on the market for him. I'm ALL for that! He needs it. He's a sweet kid for the most part but the last few days......meh. He's got this absolute hatefulness in him & he's letting it out in bipolar regularity! One minute he's all sweet & fun & behaving. Then POW! He's a basket case telling his father he hates him cuz dad won't let him stay up past 9pm on a school night, throwing dramatic hissy fits about the color of his school shirt, crying jags on the phone to his mom saying his father spends no time with him. And that's after hubby just read with him for 30 minutes AFTER playing a game with him for an hour AFTER family dinner time AFTER... you see where this is going?
And it's not like this happens at just our house & he's all smiles & butterflies with his mom. She banned him from Runescape for the last 5 weeks for his temper & his back talk to her! Granted, she lets him sleep in her bed every night, which in my opinion isn't particularly healthy for him at 9. But it's not just us that he's like this with.
I couldn't wait to go to bed last night! The quicker in bed, the faster the morning comes, the faster my ass is at work & away from the temper tantrums! I like to enjoy a few minutes of wind down quality time with hubby in the evening after junior is in bed. But getting that last night was out! Damnit! I just went to bed. What was the point in it? Junior said this morning that there was so much noise in the house that he couldn't sleep? Ummm no! I went to bed & the dogs were asleep on the floor in the master bedroom & all 4 cats wee sound asleep in bed with me. It's just his excuse for being a little shit. I told Jeff this morning any thoughts I had of maybe a child of our own: GONE! I don't need this shit! Besides (unless it was a little girl, and even then) he'd be a horrid little brat towards any new child in the house since he'd feel like it was his duty to act like an asshole. You can't make this kid happy even if you give him the world because he'd expect more, instantly!

Yup, this was a not so gentle reminder of why I vowed never to have a child. It's not like I'm missing anything. besides, it gives me more money in the long run.

He popped the Question

2007-08-21T00:15:00.000-12:00

I was sitting at breakfast this morning, partaking of the intravenous feed of my early am news reports (cause I'm a news junkie) when he popped the question to me. One of the cats was on the counter next to me staring intently into my bowl, waiting patiently for his turn (or my inattention) to snake his paw onto the rim & ease the bowl towards himself so that he could enjoy my yogurt (cause he's an asshole like that). My spoon was raised halfway to my mouth when I heard Jeff utter those fateful word that would forever change my morning:

Want to go to the flea market this weekend? We haven't been in a while & it might be fun to peruse the aisles.

You have to realize that this will haunt me throughout the upcoming days until we can actually go to the flea market! I swear it will. I LOVE flea markets. Not because I want to buy anything, because I rarely do (besides a lemonade-it's my flea market ritual). But I absolutely freaking LOVE people watching. And there is no better place to people watch then a large indoor/outdoor flea market. OK, go to a 24 hour Walmart at about 11pm on a Friday night-all the freaks start coming in then (yeah, and I'm there at that time so I would know it takes one to recognize one!)

I can feel the itching starting on my arms, the inner cravings coming upon me for a taste of flea market voyeurism. I have been so good for MONTHS! I haven't been any where near a flea market since........ oh hell, since a year ago at the very least! Now, it's all I can think about! And it's ONLY Tuesday! How in the hell am I going to make it to Saturday without busting something??????? For the love of God man! Why in the hell did you bring up a flea market jaunt so early in the week????
Sigh. Getting over something like this is way harder then nicotine cravings ever were!

Who'll get my parents' ashes when they die?

2007-08-08T03:12:00.000-12:00

My oldest brother is a pack rat. A bad pack rat! My other brother won't even keep the shipping box his computer stuff came in in case he has to send it back. Out in the garbage it goes! Me, I fall in between the two of them. I'll throw it out w/in a few weeks if necessary. I keep memento's & I have some memory boxes & picture albums but mostly I collect books. My oldest brother Mike, he can't throw anything away! When he moved out & into his first apartment apartment, my folks bought him a small kitchen table and a small sectional couch 27 years ago. He held on to it till I was 19 & gave it to me for my first apartment because he couldn't bear to part with anything. I got his first set of dishes because his wife was tired of looking at them. I can't blame her, they WERE hideous. They had been given to my mom by her father who picked them up at a garage sale for her when she was 18 & had married my dad & she gave them to Mike when he moved out. Do you see a pattern forming here? Yes they were Mikasa's but man wee they butt ugly yellow farm house type things! Ouch. I held on to them for nearly 7 years before they passed out of my life the way they came into my family's life: via a garage sale. The other day I was in my brother mike's garage looking for a screwdriver when I happened upon a bowl from that hideous set of yellow dishes! OH MY GOD! Don't these things ever go away? I took the bowl with me (I know my sister-in-law will appreciate it's absence from her life) & took it to my mom's place. She was sitting at her counter when I pulled the offending object from my carry-all & placed it in front of her. She started laughing and knew immediately where it had come from! My brother Mike is known far & wide within our extended family for never throwing anything out. EVER. He was heartbroken when he found out that the original dinette set he passed on to me had died a gallant death & finally passed on. Come on people, it WAS made out of press board with a faux wood veneer! It's not like it was going to last forever through his 3 moves & my 9 moves! Whatever. As my mom & I were laughing over the dish, my paternal grandmother walked into the room to ask my mom if her & my dad wanted to be buried in the family plot in North Carolina when they passed? My mom answered quite quickly on that: Oh Hell NO! Way to think about it for a second there Ma. LOL.
Mom: Dannie, you know your father & I have it in our will to be cremated right?
Me: Yes ma, I know. You've told me more times then I care to remember.
Mom: You won't let your brothers waste money to bury us or intern our ashes in some vault will you?
Me: Nope. I've got plans for your ashes that won't cost a dime.
Mom: Do share.
Me: I'm going to put the cans in Mike's garage where you guys will rest for eternity or until Sherry eventually convinces Mike to actually throw something out or he drops the canisters & your ashes mix with his sawdust & you get swept up & thrown out.
Mom: (after she nearly peed her pants from laughing) Good enough for me & your father.
Me: You realize that he'll never throw your ashes out & eventually I'll inherit you guys like I do everything else from Mike.
Mom: (rolling her eyes) I know.
Me: (giggling) Rob would just dump you guys in the lawn or down the toilet & then throw the cans in the recycling bin.
Mom: I know. But that would be cool too.
Me: Yeah but if Mike found out he'd have a stroke about it which means he'll give you guys to me.
Mom: (sighing) Yeah I know. One could always hope though that he'd slip up & accidentally throw us out or something.
Me: (snorting with laughter) Stop! Like that would never happen! Someone would one day ask him where you guys were interred & he'd have to say the local landfill! hee heehee heee

When Did We Become Our Parents?

2007-07-05T00:06:00.000-12:00

I'm not quite sure when it happened. I swore that I would NEVER become like one of my parents, especially my dad. My husband swore the same thing about his. But at some point in our lives, we took on characteristics of our parents without even realizing it. I noticed it with both of my brothers first. I even teased them about it. Rob was looking at a broken piece of PVC & thought out loud in front of me "I can use this for something!' Then he looked at me in horror & realized he sounded JUST like our dad! I laughed at him-I was 21 at the time. Pan forward 14 years & I was in the parking lot at my office & some kid goes whipping by in a car too fast & I blurt out: "damn kids speeding like they own the world! Obviously they don't pay their own car insurance!" I just hung my head in shame-it was a 'dad' statement leaked out from my mouth in my voice.

My husband did the same t hing last night. We were at his parents house for dinner for the 4th & Jeff blurted something out as we were walking outside. I turned & looked at him & he realized that he sounded JUST like his dad. I asked him to stop it.

When did this happen? How could it have happened to us? I am so radically different then my father, just as Jeff is from his dad! Why on earth are we turning out like our parents? OK, not in every aspect thank God! But in some of our taciturn statements. ACK! Save me from myself!

He's either going to be a doctor or a grave robber!

2007-06-20T04:23:00.000-12:00

My nephew Chase is a precious & precocious little guy. I love him & feel he can do no wrong. Understand what I just said: He can do NO wrong in my eyes! With that said, I want to tell you why this little pipsqueak is either going to grow up & work in the medical field or be a grave robber. Either way, I back him 100%! But if it's the medical field-his parents are paying that freaking tuition bill not me!

A few months ago, he was at his preschool & he hid from the teacher. This caused some heart failure on every one's part! When his daddy (my brother) picked him up that day & had a talk with the teacher Miss Danielle, oh boy did Chase get the "LOOK" from his daddy. On the car ride home, he got the "LECTURE". Those two things were always a big deal in our house growing up. The LOOK and the LECTURE. Not that it phases this guy any. He just smiles at his daddy, gives him a thumbs up & says "you betcha dad!" I love it! My mom tells my brother Rob that when our oldest brother Mike was that age, he ran away from home with a pail & a shovel to the nearest graveyard. Mike was intent on finding him "some bones". Chase Michael is named for his Uncle Mike. Go figure.

This morning my brother Rob comes to my office to help me out for the day with blood draws. He tells me that Chase asked him about the 9 firefighters that died in South Carolina recently in that furniture store fire. He told Chase that they all died in the fire. Here is Chase' response to that:
Chase:"Can you take me up there to see them?"
Rob:"Go see who Tiger?"
Chase:" The firemen that died."
Rob: "They all burned up buddy, they're just bones now."
Chase: " Can I go see the bones?"
Rob: "Why would you want to see their bones Chase?"
Chase: "Cause that's cool & bones are neat!"

I'm so proud of him! LOL! Robert says Mike & I & our mom influenced this little guy too much. I asked Rob if maybe his job of working the Life Flight helicopter & the trauma center might have had something to do with it. Rob disagrees. He blames all of us.

What can I say? Blood & bones & guts don't gross any of us out either. Carrie wants Chase to grow up to be something important or get into a wealthy profession. Grave robbing could be lucrative! The black market for body parts is "alive" so to speak & flourishing well from what I hear! Carrie doesn't let me babysit the little guy anymore, or his baby brother for that matter. I don't know.

But it's a DRY Heat

2007-06-19T02:13:00.000-12:00

I went to Scottsdale, Arizona last week for a work meeting. I stayed here. This is the view from my balcony. Nice huh? That's Camel back Mountain. The tale is a camel was walking along one day & decided to lay down & take a nap. It's been there ever since. Peyote smokers. LOL. Seriously, if you are driving towards it from the other side- it really does look like a camel's back. I enjoyed my short 3 day stay there. I usually do like Arizona. Just not in the summer. The pharmaceutical companies that sponsor these meetings always pick places in the off months so they get a really great deal. Like Arizona in the summer (it was 110 degrees in the shade people!), Florida during the steamy hot hurricane months, Connecticut in the winter (no snow for skiing-just drizzly wet coldness), Puerto Rico during the hot steamy rainy season, you get the picture right?

And to top it all off, there was a dinner the first night, outside. Yes I said OUTSIDE! Fuckers. A lot of the people there were from the northeast or eastern Canada. They could not stand the heat or the warm breeze. Those of us from Florida & other southeast regions were OK with it-to a point. It's hot, but it's a DRY heat folks. Those of us from the SE are used to heat. humid, moist, sticky, uncomfortable heat. Because of the lack of moisture though, most everyone ended up with bloody nostrils every time they sneezed. Except for those from the area or t hose who have been there before. Like me. I use Simply Saline Mist as needed when I'm out west. Those poor fools that didn't have it & the resort's sundry shop sold out of it pretty quickly, ouch for them. There is a gel form of this stuff- I just can't see wiping it up in there. Nice.

Papillona Sky's Post.A.No.Secret for June

2007-06-08T02:31:00.000-12:00

As much as you try to keep your emotions bottled up inside, hidden away from the world's eyes, it's nearly impossible. They always find a way to come pouring out one way or another.

It's a new month & that means it's time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.Here’s the run down:
1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky.
2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.
3. Revealing your identity is optional. Be careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.

Heard At My Office

2007-06-06T23:49:00.000-12:00

Sometimes, I just need to get out of my office for a few minutes & take a breather. I no longer smoke so unlike my office mate- I do not go outside every 30 minutes. Nice huh? And he gets disgruntled if I go outside & sit on the bench by the little water fountain (the one you see here actually) for five minutes while he's outside smoking cig after cig for twenty plus minutes! But I digress.

Monday I was outside taking my refresher when Tony, the bio hazard pick up guy, put a well marked (bright orange bio hazard stickers on all sides of the box box) down on the ground about 5 feet from my sitting place. He said he would grab the other container from the doctor's office right next to where I was sitting so he could be on his way. I said sure not a problem. I was sitting there and I like Tony so I'd watch it for him. Who the hell would steal a box blatantly marked BIO HAZARD??? How could I be so naive?

A young black kid-all of maybe 17 years of age was strolling through the complex on the other side of the fountain. He looked over at the box sitting on the ground 5 or so feet from me as I was leaning back with my head tilted to enjoy the breeze. He strolls by one more time & positions himself not too far off to the side of my bench but lined up to make a snatch & dash. I was watching him via the reflection of the glass windows alongside of where I was sitting. I know that the box was brightly marked & that bio hazard was printed all over it. I know this because it was the box from my office. It was filled with used urine sample cups. I figured the kid was either desperate or stupid, or possibly both.

No sooner had the kid grabbed the box up in his arms & taken 5 steps to dash around the corner of the building & into the trees off to the side when Tony's loud, deep baritone rang out in a commanding order: DROP THE BOX NIGGER BEFORE I DROP YOU! The kid immediately dropped the box & never looked back as he high tailed it off the property. I busted out laughing as I looked back at Tony. He giggled as he met my eyes & smiled at me. He said to me: Only a black man can honestly call another black such a name. I laughed so hard at the look on Tony's face when he said that. He just shook his head & complained about people wanting to steal medical waste containers. I did agree with him though. He & I got to talking about Don Imus & the nappy-headed hos incident. I told him that it was a double standard & he agreed with me. "But," Tony said," if Ihad yelled drop the box, the kid would have just kept on going. He knew a brother caught him this time. A mean sounding one at that." I had to agree. I had never heard Tony talk like that or in that tone of voice before! I'd have dropped the box too! LOL. But then again, I wouldn't pick up something obviously marked BIO HAZARD. But then that's just me.

My apologies

2007-06-06T23:46:00.001-12:00

My apologies for slacking off as of late. I have a note from my doctor on the reason for my tardiness. It lists several possible reasons. Wanna read it?

Please excuse Dannie for her absence as of late. She was unable to post for the following reasons:
1. She was busy with work.
2. She was out of town for the 3-day weekend without Internet access.
3. She's been wrestling with flesh-eating crocodiles & recuperating.
4. She's been lazy.

Hi-O Silver!

2007-05-07T04:31:00.000-12:00

Just because he can, because it amuses him, because it makes me laugh. Oh Adam, you are such a nut. I thank the 24 hours in a day that you & I became friends again. You made me laugh in high school with your quiet humor. I love listening to your radio show Pop Garden Radio, on late Saturday nights. Your sense of humor, your vibrancy for life, & your candidness, all add up make you who you are. Keep the music coming my friend, I'll always be listening.

Papillona Sky's Post.A.No. Secret Tag

2007-05-03T00:57:00.000-12:00

This is my contribution for this May.

No matter what you think of the past, you can never go back. It will never be like your mind portrays it. Things change, people pass on or move away, the landscape is altered. Even if you were to go back now, it would never be as you remembered it to be, & your heart may break. It's best to look forward, move on, & make new memories to cherish. I'll always love what once was & forever remember my youth.

It's a new month & that means it's time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.Here’s the run down:

1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky.

2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.

3. Revealing your identity is optional. Be careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.

Upwards Basketball and Junior

2007-05-01T00:28:00.000-12:00

Last year, Junior decided he wanted to play basketball in addition to soccer. The kid loves soccer. He's tried t-ball when he was younger & hated it. he did like flag football but lost interest in it. He's always played soccer & will continue to do so. But I agreed with him & so the search began to find a youth league. My in-laws go to First Baptist church here where we live & they came home with a program fl yer for Upwards Basketball for boys & girls. Junior goes to the Christian private school there so it was perfect! A lot of his little buddies were going to join it so he'd know some kids & get the chance to meet new boys. It's not just for the school kids that go there, but for everyone in the community.
Hubby & I looked into it & were impressed. I like the fact that it teaches the kids t he ins & outs of the game, how to interact with others, & how to be a good sport. Everyone gets to play no matter what! I liked that. It will be hard enough when Junior is older to face rejection at a sport tryout. At least here, he learns about it & everyone benefits! They start with kids as young as 1st & 2ND grade. No scoring in those grades but that comes later. Junior started in 32ND grade & there was no kept scoring there & he had loads of fun. This season he's in 3rd & last night was the awards night for the season. His team won12 out of 13 games! They came close to winning the one but the other team just rebounded & pounded them in the last quarter. That's OK-the kids were ecstatic! The age groups are offered up to the 7Th & 8Th grades & after that-most of the kids are in their junior high school teams. It's great experience & tons of fun. I'm glad Junior has been having fun with it. Next season he's all hip to go for it again-now if we can just remind him to not travel with the ball so much! He'll learn.
Here is what they offer:

Why Upward Basketball and Upward Cheer leading?Upward Basketball and Upward Cheer leading offer a break from the norm. The primary focus of Upward is to develop the Winner in EVERY child, not just a few. By keeping this goal in mind, we are able to build a league that promotes salvation, character, and self-esteem in all who participate through:
Sportsmanship and competitiveness in property perspective by not maintaining league standings in any division.
Maximizing the family schedule by having only one hour of practice and one game each week.
Equipping coaches and referees to minister by providing extensive teaching tools and resources.
Providing opportunities to promote other church ministries to all participants and their families.
Allowing the coach to focus on ministering to children and their families, instead of game strategy, by having a set substitution system where all players are allowed equal playing time and equal opportunity for improvement.
Encouraging each player with a game day award following every game.
Maximizing ministry opportunities by exposing players to scripture-based devotions during each practice and spectators to half-time testimonies each game day.
Providing opportunities to see changed hearts and lives among children, family members, and volunteers who experience and Upward ministry.
Building toward a harvest time at Awards Night where participants and parents are given an opportunity to respond to the Gospel.

My husband says I'm snarky-go figure.

2007-04-30T02:09:00.000-12:00

I'm not sure why the man says I'm snarky...OK strike that comment from the record. I DO know why and I'm OK with it. In fact, I'm more then OK, it's a genetic trait encoded so deeply into my DNA that I couldn't bleach it out if I tried. As if I'd even bother to try. Bah! Let's see, I guess his "official" notice of my snarkiness came a couple of months...um.... days...... um........hours......um oh alright SECONDS OK? There I admitted it. You'd have thought the man would remember my sarcasticness from high school, but that was 20 years ago, and normal human beings due tend to change over the years. not me, the only "changing" I did-was to get MORE snarky, so says my family. Sigh. Bunch of wannabes.

Ok, so I admit that when hubby says something (read just about anybody actually but he falls into it more then most because he sees me the most), I sometimes can't help myself. It is just too amusing to me to leave it alone. And sometimes, you can see him hold his breath & get big eyed because he realized he just left himself wide open for it. Sigh. It's so easy- like shooting fish in a barrel. Still fun though! Let me give one or two examples & you'll see why I just can't help myself:

1. Me: Honey, it's cold in here.

Him: Our house?

Me: Nope, the neighbors house. ( I never even stopped what I was doing at the time when I replied on this one.

2. Me: Hey baby, wanna have sex?

Him: With me?

Me: Nope, I was talking to myself in the mirror again. I slept on the couch for that one that night.

3. Me: Is this done enough for you? I was holding open a slice of steak to make sure it was at his Medium status that he likes. Notice I said FOR you & not TO you?

Him: Are you cooking that for me?

Me: Nope, I wanted your opinion on the dog's food. Once again, I was subjected to a very large sigh on his part for my answer.

I have TONS more, I mean come on....we've been together for the last four years and there have been so many creative & unique opportunities to be myself. Although dinners with his family are tough for me. I have to watch what I say in case I might drop an F-bomb in front of any of them, or for the fact that my quick replies may just get hubby disinherited. It IS fun watching Jeff's eyes bug out of his head when his father sets himself up. It hurts for me to hold back- like really bad gas after Mexican food. But it is amazing to watch hubby turn about thirty shades of blue from holding his breath as he watches me converse with his parents. Snickering. I've taken to keeping my feet just out of his reach under the dinner table so he can't kick me to shut me up. It's funny as hell to go through because he checks for my legs or feet placement after we sit down, I move them, he lashes out with his toe & kicks a chair or table leg instead. Which in turn rocks the table & he lets out a yelp & everyone looks at him.. I just glance very blandly & innocently at him & say: you OK honey? You really do need to be more careful you know.

I had to share this. I must agree with hubby when he calls me snarky though, I have taken the 12 step program for it & come to terms with my sarcastic sense of humor. I was born with it. I have a bunch more I'll post up & share later, some REALLY good ones but seeing as I'm at work & actually HAVE to do something today.... tootles!

And So It's Been Banned-For at least a week.

2007-04-27T00:04:00.000-12:00

My stepson is a great kid. It's just that he's a wee bit spoiled. Let me say this: he's the only grandchild for my in-laws. There will be NO others (not from me & not from hubby's sister). At his mom's house, he HAD an older half brother. E* (name changed to protect him from the turnip known as his mom's boyfriend) isn't a bad kid in my opinion. He left his mom's & lived with her parents for the last 4 years because of his mom's boyfriend. He went back there cause her parents are dying a slow carcinogenic death (smoking) & he miss his little brother. That lasted all of 4 months till him & the turnip got into it & both were arrested. E* JUST turned 18 & is in his senior year of high school. He lives with a friend so he can finish up his school year. But I digress.

Junior really loves his brother E* & hates the Turnip. But all the drama between his mom & Turnip at their house is unbearable for him. And yet he sees how those two fight & Turnip does the Ogre chest thrust out & that yelling is the way to get attention, etc etc etc.

So, to make this rambling clear-everyone spoils Junior & he knows it. At 9, he's playing his parents off on each other. He's trying sat least. Hell, my former stepdaughter was a master at it! Junior is an amateur compared to her. But he gets a LOT of game players between the two houses. And I mean a LOT! At our house, there is an X-Box Live, an x-box, PS2, 3 computers with numerous amounts of games, A DS, a gameboy, & now a play station portable. At his mom's there is a PS3, a DS Lite, a computer, an x-box: you see where this is going? Well Junior decided to puff his chest last night (in imitation of the Turnip) & sass back at his father when Jeff told him to put the games away & brush his teeth. Junior already mouthed off to me when I told him that dinner would be ready in 5 minutes & not to turn any game players on. WTF???? This half-sized pint redneck puffed his chest at me! I looked at him & just said: guess the zoo trip is off at your next weekend with us. You know what big man? You can stay home or with your dad while I take the boys (my best friend's nephews) for the day. He was NOT pleased. But then neither was I. He stomps off & later gives me this baby talk apology. I didn't accept it. I told him to speak concisely like the 9 year old he was or I would not acknowledge him. I HATE baby talk. Eventually the tot realized the error of his ways & spoke like he should.

Now later, when he crossed swords with his dad, all bets were off. He screamed at Jeff & threw something at him when Jeff told Junior he could not take the PSP to his mom's house for the weekend. That he just received a PS# over there & that since she won't let him bring his zdDS from there to our house-the suff from our house was no longer permitted over there (Turnip tried breaking a DS of ours & stated he wouldn't replace it if he did. nice huh?) and that Junior could just play with his stuff over there. OMG the screaming fir that ensued!

I'm done with it. I walked out of the room. I looked at Jeff & told him that I thought getting Junior all the different players was a bad idea. That the child appreciates nothing & demands instant gratification without having to earn any of it. It came down to this: Junior lost ALL of his game players & his computer time for a week to start with. (The portables are in a basket on top of the dresser in our bedroom) After that week-he has to earn the use of them back. I don't see this happening, I really don't. To prove my point in this, I was looking art some photos of puppies & parents from different doberman breeders. I'm researching my next dog. It may take me another year until I'm absolutely satisfied, but so be it. I want a dog for agility & rally & Schutzen training & more. Junior just wants a dog-preferably a Pug or a Boxer. No & no. like I explained to him a couple days ago (as did his dad), any dog we get will be of my choosing. I'm the one that will be taking care of it, feeding it, training it, & working with it. So we're getting a dog of MY choosing. Jeff wants a Dobie-which is why I chose to consider it. I like them though. Beautiful ines, great temperaments & awesome agility dogs. Junior threw a mini fit. He wants to name it. I told him we'd consider all name & to pic some & write them on a list & we'd discuss it. The dog at his mom's house (eye rolling here) is named Whiskey. Go figure. An ill-mannered dog with NO brains & intact not fixed) with absolutely NO training. The last time I saw Whiskey, he tried to jump on me & knock me down. It didn't happen. I've worked with dogs since I was 5 years old. Whiskey found himself flat on his stomach with my good hand holding him down by the scruff of his neck & I was growling at him. Yes I know-you've got a mental image on that one don't you? Well it's necessary to assert dominance in situations like this. Whiskey does not give me any trouble. Ever. But I digress. Junior wants to name the new puppy (Mario or something game player lame). I said his dad already had part of the registered name picked out & her (it will be a female btw) kennel or call name will be nikki. OMG-the tantrums started! He tarts pouting & baby talking his father about wantingto name a dog & that he wanted his own Pug puppy. Hmmmmmmm, seeing as how the interest in a puppy would vanish withing a week or two & I would be stuck with the dog..... no. New dog in our house-my choice since I would be caring for it. Jeff looks at me & I said nope. Dropped everything & said no dogs then. Nada. I'm not giving in on this & that's the end of it. Finit!

So what it all boils down to is this': Junior has lost his game players for at least a week and there will be no new dogs in our house for the time being. I never ask my husband for jewelry or gifts. It's not my way. When I'm ready for a new dog-I'll just go buy the damn thing myself & be done with it. If his nose gets out of joint-so be it, I'm through molly-coddling his tantrum-throwing 9-year-old sniveling, ill-mannered son.

I swear she's full grown

2007-04-26T05:13:00.000-12:00

This little bugger is my Sylvia. She goes by many names though. Stalker, Speckles, Sprite, Speck. She weighs all of 2 lbs. soaking wet and she is mischief on four legs. It's hard to believe that this little brute is 2 and a half years old! But she is. I always wanted a kitten to stay kitteny & small. Well, my wish came true. Kuma shits things bigger then her! She is my sweetums though. She curls up into the tiniest ball next to me while I'm reading & likes to lay on top of Jeff's shirts on the dryer. Her purr is bigger then she is too. She has favorite toys-mainly plastic balls with bells in them, that she'll catch if you throw them to her. Paulie is her best buddy & even though he's 3x her size, they rough house like crazy. Now that Mia has seen her picture, I know she'll want to steal my little mite for Cleo to luv on. This ball of fur is afraid of nothing & usually chooses to sleep on Kuma's paws or follow her canine hero around till he pays attention to her.

She is Sylvia: hear her roar!

A Good Reason To Stay Single

2007-04-26T04:27:00.000-12:00

Otherwise known as the Tron Wannabe. I received this one & a few other pics in an email titled- "Why Women Stay Single." Absolutely understandable after viewing some of the pics. I shudder at the mere thought of it. What's bad is that this picture actually reminds me of a date I went out on....once.

Let me back up a little and give some background info. After my first marriage went down the shit hole, I let my friends set me up on blind dates. Um, not a good idea when half your friends are cops. They only know other cops (I grew up as a cop's daughter & know all about their outlook on life & badge bunnies) or criminals. Let's see.... no thank you. So after a few dates that nearly ended with ME being arrested, I decided to avoid my friends' offers & tried Match.com.

Oh yeah, THERE were some real winners there! Let me tell you! Oh My Fucking God! What's worse, one of my "matches" actually had a pic of himself in an outfit similar to this-except his was green. Sigh. I met some real....interesting......people.

Funny thing was, one of the matches on my list didn't have a pic to go with his screen name. So even though he sounded normal, I didn't pick him. Not because I am interested in looks (obviously not, you should see my ex-fiancee & ex-husband), but because I usually compared the pics to the crime watch/offenders/most wanted list to make sure I would be OK out in public with them. Turns out that when my hubby & I went out on our first date-he mentioned something from my match.com ad. I nearly choked on my drink when he did. You see, he was on my list & I was on his! Except-he was the normal sounding guy with no pic that I passed over! LOL!

So now that you know there really are people out in the world who dress like this, and yes- I actually dated one, now you know why a lot of women choose to stat single, and for a very good reason!

Aren't you happy I shared?

Oh look, a Thursday Rant!

2007-04-26T02:17:00.000-12:00

It's not that I am in a bad mood per se, it's just that I'm a little tired this morning & really have no inclined "happy face" mood meter to allow me to speak good-natured with my appointments today. I literally feel like the above picture. So let me begin my morning rant before my first set of mid morning schedulees come in to REALLY piss me off!

I love my dog. He's the coolest. But when he starts fwapping his ears from shaking his head & jingling his collar in the process, at 4 frigging am, I want to throw his ass outside. This is an hour before my alarm is due to go off sweetums. I do NOT appreciate the noise.
My stepson is really cool usually. But there are some instances that his hyperactive mind set just plucks my last nerve! Grr. I'm STILL gritting my teeth over last night's baby talk from him. He's nine, not 2. If I had to hear one more: me want hot fudge-not bath. I would have thrown his butt outside too! Hubby sends his son to a very expensive christian school that is considered one of the top five college prep schools in the state of Florida. In the top 5 folks. This kid is far from dumb, but last night is STILL ticking me off! Grrrrrrrrrr.
To the shit heal driver behind me this morning on my way to work: you can TRY & ride my bumper all you want. It will NOT make me go any faster then the posted speed sign in my neighborhood. As a matter of fact, I'll slow to a crawl & then not allow you to pass me. Oh yeah, I did just that didn't I?
As for the first 3 phone calls this morning to my office: I don't care what you're selling, how you're selling it, or who referred you. I am the office manager/supplies purchaser/human resource department/ financial authority/keeper of the keys/writer of checks in my office. You wouldn't have spoken with any other person besides myself-so saying you spoke with someone yesterday about an order they placed but didn't pay for... IS A LIE. I did NOT order anything yesterday or the day before that. In fact, I mark my calender as to when & from whom I ordered something so I can track a receiving date. So asking me for my credit card only gets you a "Fuck Off Nitwit". And asking to speak to the manager about my attitude? Bah! I AM EVERYTHING in this office & there is no one higher then me you little toad. So fuck off.And have a nice day.
To the first patient that called & said they couldn't make their appointment today but would like to have their stipend mailed to them, ya gotta make it into the office dip shit to actually get registered for this & be paid for it. So, nope. No visit= no money. So shall I see you tomorrow since it's too late for today's scheduled time?
To the gentleman standing out in the hall this morning waiting for his doctor's office to open as I was unlocking the employee entrance door to my office. Asking me if you can sit in my waiting room for 2 hours because you don't want to sit out in the atrium... not my problem jackass. If your doc's office won't let you in, why should I let you in mine? Besides, I need my chairs for my own appointments ninny. Go away.
Just because I'm a woman does not mean I will fall over in a dead faint grateful that some male chose to wink at me in the hallway. And because I gave you a faint smile instead of some stupid girlie giggle as if awed by your Divine presence-does not mean I'm gay or a man hater. It just means I'm not tempted by you or amused by your actions. It means: thanks but no thanks & fuck off while you're at it. I have all the male companionship I need in my life with my husband, brothers, stepson, & male friends. I don't need you or your idiotic mediocre attempts at thinking I should be grateful you paid attention to me, just because I walk with a limp & wear a brace. I could eat you for breakfast shit head & leave you in the side of the road without a qualm. So basically: I'm not impressed, go away.
For my in-laws: As far as picking up my stepson-I work two jobs. I'm in my office from 6/7 am till 2pm & then I go work at the screen printing shop till my stuff is done. I cannot stop everything & go home & watch him, nor can I take him to the shop with me. There is no where for him to sit there, nothing to do, & no air conditioning. IT'S HOT AS HELL there & I am in no position to amuse him. You are retired, you do not volunteer anywhere. You have the time to watch him. I told you yesterday I was working till at least 6pm & will be doing so again today. Before I came into the picture, you picked him up & watched him after school until his father got off of work & could get home/pick him up. Why is this suddenly my job? No offense but I have always worked one or two jobs at a time since you've met me. The stroke only slowed me down & limited my choices in a second job-it did not retire me or stop me from working. So watch him. He's your grandson & the only grandchild. Enjoy your moments with him. To call me about pickup times & being "busy" and then to turn around & complain you never see your grandson is hypocritical. You can't have it both ways. Deal with it.
Is this day over yet?

You'll go blind & your palms will grow hair!

2007-04-25T00:00:00.000-12:00

My 9-year old stepson has started discovering himself lately. I know this is just the start of the whole "self-exploration" era of his approaching teenage years. And I 'm OK with that. My husband on the other hand isn't quite sure how to deal with the situation. He doesn't know when the right time will occur for him to have..."THE TALK". Yes I'm rolling my eyes over this one.

I've run the gamut of experiences having 11 god children ranging in age from 16 to 3. Plus being an "auntie" to several of my friends kids, and a previous stepdaughter (who is even now at 14 years of age looking to far surpass her biological mother in hoochie clothes & rule breaking). But my wonderful, smart, creative, funny husband is stymied.

He came to me the other night to tell me he walked in on Little Man while he was in the bathtub. Here I am facing my 37-year old husband as he sits on the end of the bed to tell me something. "Babe, I just don't believe it.....he was laying in the tub flicking his....his.... parts in the water & staring at it since it was a little....erect." My husband tends to get a little shy & formal sounding when he thinks he's delving in to the personal MAN territory. Absolutely deadpan I answer him: Did you tell him to use soap while he's doing that so he doesn't flick it raw & so it's clean at the same time? I honestly thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his head at that comment! I caught his reflection in the mirror as I was saying it to him.

He starts spluttering and turning a little red in the face. "OMG! Honey! It's not funny!" I personally thought it was hilarious to be honest with you, but then I'm a little jaded. I asked him if he wanted me to go & have a talk with Junior about the whole situation. I think hubby was going to choke to death as he starts gurgling. Well, it's not like I fumbled the ball when he asked what a condom was! Hubby turned purple at the reminder of that one. (Junior saw a Trojan commercial a few months ago & asked what a condom was. Hubby was terrified to answer him so I offered to. hubby was even more terrified of what I was going to say! I told Junior it was something worn between a man & woman when they are intimate to prevent babies. End of story. If we hadn't answered him, he would have hounded EVERYONE for a resolution until he asked the wrong person...namely my father-in-law who's head WOULD have exploded-not such a bad idea actually. Hubby was quite impressed with how I handled it. Geesh, this ain't my first rodeo ya know!)

Jeff is still a little worried at this point of what I am going to say to his progeny-product of his loins & a she-devil. I started walking out of the room & tossed a comment over my shoulder to him:

I'll telll him that if he does that too often, especially without lube, he'll go blind & his palms will grow hair. I can still hear the strangling noises even now that my poor husband was making as I shut the door. Have I talked with Little Man yet? No, I'm giving his father the chance to step up to the plate & give it a try. But we're going to the grocery store tonight & I'll let hubby see me put a personal lubricant product in the cart & when he asks why in the holy hell I'm trying to embarrass him (remember hubby is extremely shy about some things- read this one & you'll understand why), I'll tell him it's for Little Man so he doesn't hurt himself. And then I'll stand back & wait for the sparks to fly!

New Look! New Look!

2007-04-18T03:57:00.000-12:00

Aaaaaaaah, my site looks so pretty now! I have Mia to thank for how beeeee-yu-ti-fuulllllllllll it is now. She put all my faves in it! KC Fat Tiger, Kuma, & the terrorizing tuxedos! Yeah! It actually looks like I know what I'm doing now!

I didn't just say thout out loud did I? Oh Lordy. Hey, I used to create web pages BY HAND folks! Writing the freaking html & java script on my own. None of this drag & drop shit. And my Myspace page ain't too shabby if I must say so. Too bad you can't see it right now unless you are a Myspace junkie & asked to be added as my friend. Sorry, but I had to go private on there for a while. It just happens sometimes that way. But blogger! Man, it's been the death of me! I actually put my blogger up for critiquing by some really tough ladies. I cringed at the thought; but then REALLY thought over it and figured: what the heck? The only thing they can do is thrash me something fierce. But I would LEARN from it. And I did! Here's what these women had to say about my little blog: Pardon the Egg Salad & Kuma's Place.
That which does not kill us only makes us stronger! So after spending an hour on & off AOL I/M with Miss M- we got my bo-ni-fide new template loaded! What's this "WE" shit?? SHE did it all! LOL. I love her-that girl rocks!

Who could resist this face?

2007-04-17T00:29:00.000-12:00

It's my pretty boy and namesake for my blog. Who could resist such a face as this when he comes up to you & just wants to throw himself at your feet. Most of my blogger friends (I said MOST not ALL) have human children & post their baby photos on here & share with everyone. Not me. This fuzzy face IS my baby. And a happy boy he is! My hubby was playing around with his digital camera when snot face here decided to see what "Dad" was up to & stuck his schnoz right up to Jeff's. Hey dad, if you're playing with it then it must be something fun! (Please don't go off the deep end on that remark-it was meant in reference to the camera, NOT Jeff's noodle. Get your mind's out of the gutter ya freaks!)

Meh! I love this drooly guy. He's the apple of my eye so to speak. Ah well, much scrunchy baby face love to everyone!

What Some Women Will Do for a New Appliance

2007-04-17T00:03:00.000-12:00

I must admit I was a little like WTF when I heard this story. But OK, I'll go along & listen to my friend. I mean come on, we're good friends & I always knew she could be a little "different" in her tastes. But you know what? She really marches to the beat of her own drum to say the least. Most women like jewelry for giving a hummer, but my friend had a different story to tell me.
Recently she & her husband were in Walmart picking up some odds & ends. Her husband says that they needed a new crock pot, that their old one just doesn't hold enough in it. My girlfriend says that she doesn't have enough cash on her & she'll pick one up after her next payday. Her husband gets this smile on his face & says he'll buy it for her if she'll give him a hummer that night. She shrugs & says sure.
Later that evening they are lying in bed & she snuggles up to hubby & he says to her, you know it IS a 6 quart Rival crock pot. It actually matches the rest of our kitchen appliances. Her reply: usually women get jewelry for giving hummers babe, making their men happy. Me, I get a crock pot & you get a roast AND a blow job. Sigh.

And The Land Was Safe Once Again

2007-04-12T00:18:00.000-12:00

If it wasn't for my nephew saving the day, our world would cease to exist as we we know it & we would be overrun by storm troopers or worse. Of course you can't forget that plastic laser guns work even better when the sound effect of a pursed lip is added into the mix going peeeeeeyoow. peeeyoow. I kid you not. It really does help! This pint-sized hero is scared of nothing, well OK, I take that back. He's scared of ALMOST nothing! There are a few exceptions. Oh say, broccoli, peas, and potatoes Au gratin. I can't blame him about the peas. I'm not a big fan of those things either. but give this little guy a wooden flintlock or plastic shiny 6 shooter & bad guys beware! He's armed & dangerous! A mini man with a mission! He'll defend the outer planetary moons from Darth Vader with his laser cannons and his faithful sidekick Ivan the Golden Retriever by his side (as long as there are pieces of bologna sandwiches to be had I might add). But once his mom or dad comes home, all bets are off! He turns back into the mild-mannered little boy wonder known as Tiger, the whirlwind! Go figure.

Poor Buddha Tiger

2007-04-09T02:32:00.000-12:00

My poor KC. She's in her golden years as my husband says that she is supposed to be relaxing & enjoying her golden years. Lazing around in rays of sunshine, snuggling up in laps & being loved on. Peaceful. Content. Quiet. Not so! Instead, my poor buddha tiger has found herself in a freaking kitty college frat house! The three other youngsters in the house find it necessary to run by her at all hours & pounce on her or follow her & beat on my poor fat tiger cat! She just wants to be left alone! She is the only one of the four with front claws & she doesn't even use those needle like daggers on the three upstarts! She should. We left her clawed in hopes of leveling the p;aying field. That & she doesn't tear anything up. She is such a sweet cat. yes she is over weight. I know this. She knows this. But even on weight preventative food & with the three hooligans chasing her between the rooms, she still gains like a hippo. I think it is a thyroid issue. Or a food issue. You know, she eats to comfort herself over the problems the others give her.

She sleeps curled up in my arms at night. Out of protection for herself. Mocha stalks her the most ruthlessly, pummeling her every chance Mocha gets. Sylvia paws at her & Paulie thuimps her at times. But it's mocha that makes poor KC the most miserable. My poor sweet tiger baby. She just wants to relax & enjoy herself these days. And yet finds herself living among the proverbial kegger throwing frat cats!

Papillona Sky's Monthly Post for April

2007-04-05T03:20:00.000-12:00

It’s time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.Here’s the run down:
1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky
.2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.
3. Revealing your identity is optionalBe careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.

Here’s my contribution to the tag for the month of April…

Because my friends mean the world to me. More then money, more then fame. Solitude is nice for a while, but warmth & feeling is what life is all about.

I Have Impeccable Timing

2007-04-03T05:25:00.000-12:00

It's been a bit since I've posted and for that, I apologize. I've been busy with work recently & other things that I really need to mention on here, and I will! I promise. But I digress.

It turns out that I have impeccable timing. It's only Tuesday and as usual, my "awkward situation sense" (you know, that 7th sense-the one many of us have when it comes to calling people when they are in an awkward situation-like say the bathroom or during sex) chimed in again & I just HAD to call hubby & tell him about it. Huh. He answers & says: " I'll call you back.
click.

end of conversation.

That can only mean one thing. I called him & his cell phone has a silly ring tone on it for the home number (I called from there) and it caught him in the middle of an important/awkward/embarrassing situation!

DOH!

He calls me back like two minutes later and as soon as I see the caller id I answer the phone saying: and your ring tone is what He-Who-Must-Be-Beet-Red-Now?

He says very quietly into the phone: go shorty. go shorty. it's your birthday. it's your birthday.

I am sooooooooooooooo glad I went to the bathroom BEFORE he called me back! I gulp a few breaths of air and my next question is this: And where were you when it rang?

He very, very quietly sighs before answering. I was asked by Kevin O.- the head of the shuttle program to fix the overhead projector for their meeting. He caught me out in the hallway as I was walking by & said ooh there is Jeff! He can fix it. I'm in the middle of a huge room with a hundred people looking at me as I am trying to get this projector back online. And my phone rings.

I'm snickering now with tears in my eyes. I ask him: Did you at least fix it?

He very quietly says yes & then tells me he is glad he can amuse me as I'm snorting & chuckling & laughing. You see, three times last week I called his phone & caught him in the bathroom and once yesterday. His ringtone for me is a Flock of Seagulls tune. Everyone he works with knows it's me when I call. LOL! His company picnic was Saturday. I wanted to wear my Impeccable Timing t-shirt. He wouldn't let me. (snickering) WhenI would be introduced to people at the picnic I had not yet met, they would say hello & then hum the flock of seagulls tune & I would just smile as hubby turns beet red. Gotta love it.

Rest In Peace Ginger

2007-03-21T04:16:00.000-12:00

Virginia "Ginger" Hopkins A wonderfully cranky person whom I adored. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and refused treatment. She will be so missed on this plane. These are the last two emails I received from my friend earlier this month. Your memory will never be forgotten my friend & I will forever cherish our arguements. Until we meet again, may you know only happiness at the side of the creator.

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR ...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I 've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires !

&

The Friendship candle,
Please don't break this even if you only send it to one person. Thanks
NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS.I am not going to be the one who lets it die. I found it believable ---Angels have walked beside me all my life--and they still do.

********************* This is to all of you who mean something to me, I pray for your happiness and peace. The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship

This candle was lit on the 15th of September, 1998.

Someone who loves you has helped keep it alive by sending it to you.Don't let The Candle of Love, Hope and Friendship die! Pass It On To All

Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love!May God richly bless you as you keep this candle burning.

I received this today and I hope it comes back someday again.Please keep this candle alive Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

My Little Sister Mia

2007-03-06T01:57:00.000-12:00

I've never had a little sister. I've always wanted one of my very own though. I have an older sister-in-law that is more like a sibling to me then my brothers are, and we're close. But I have always wanted a younger sister. I've had three younger sister-in-laws and in fact, I still have one, but it's not the same. I've always wanted a little sister to pal around with, show her the ropes, guide her, and have fun with her. A couple of years ago, I finally "met" my very own little sister! Even better, she comes with a really cool mom who I get to adopt as my own! Isn't that the bomb? In fact, I can say that hot shit people, I got my very own Latina hermana! Her name is Mia. I know, you're all so jealous & you want to know where you can go out & get one for yourself. Well, you can't. She's AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL MMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNE!
But I'll share her with you on occassion, cause this girl makes me laugh! As does her mom.I don't know what I would do without this ray of sunshine in my life. She picks me up when I am down, makes me laugh when I'm crying, & puts a smile where before there was a frown. She has shown me so much within the last two years since I've met her online that I am constantly amazed by her and oh so very proud of her! She has shown me that there is more outside of my own little aquarium of a world and that I am more then what my situation has brought me to. I root for this girl in all that she does and seek out stuff to amuse her while she was in class, because we all know how freaking boring psychology classes can be! Hell, I've got a dual degree in psych/counseling & don't use the damn thing! I see what and who I once was-but with better fashion sense! I envy her growing up in New York though,man how fun is that! With all that I've got going on in my life & within my "aquarium" so to speak, this little sister of mine reminds me that there is so much more out there, that there is still an ocean & that I can still swim in it-that I'm not just locked within my filtered system. She's ten years my junior then me & her ma is 10 my senior, so I get 2 for the price of 1! How lucky could I be? Check her out, my little Mia, the sister of my heart, is going somewhere. She's so smart & funny and I'm so damn proud of her. I wish she really was my little sister. But that's ok, I'm just glad to know she's in my life, even if she blogs about the damndest things at times! Oie vay!

Papillona Sky's Monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag: March

2007-03-05T01:44:00.000-12:00

Don't let go of your dreams or give up on what you were searching for, one day you''ll find it when you least suspect it.

It’s a new month and time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.Here’s the run down:

1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky.

2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.

3. Revealing your identity is optional

Be careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.

This is my POST.A.NO.SECRET contribution for March.

I'm Going Straight To Hell

2007-02-26T05:44:00.001-12:00

I'm going straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00, just get my ass into the hot place for all eternity. I kid you not. I guess I need to explain why I'll be wearing 3000 SPF for my next 3 lifetimes but first, let me say this: my husband is a wonderful guy. I also am grateful that the man does not read this blog or I'd be vacationing in hell for more than 3 lifetimes. Way more. Let me also add that my husband is extremely easy to embarrass. OMG is he ever! It's like shooting fish in a barrel, stealing candy from a baby, rolling drunks in the street. With that in mind, let me tell you why I'm now on the express track to the furnace.

We went to Walmart the other day. We passed by our regular grocery establishment when he remembered that we needed items for the week so we veered in to our local 24 hour Supercenter. We picked up the necessities of food & pet items when he remembered that we were also almost out of condoms. Shock! Horror! Now my darling dear hubby will NEVER buy them in a store. EVER! He can't do it. If we need them, I buy them-when I'm alone. He won't have them in our shared grocery cart. He usually buys them online-discreetly. You see where this is going in regards to his pride? I can't take birth control because of the hormone/estrogen levels in pills because I had a stroke and even though he's had a son & does not want any more children-he won't get a vasectomy.

Well, I had been discussing another form of control method to catch any loose strays so to speak. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. I wanted to try it. Foam is messy & he says the gel kind of burns sooooo, film it is! I put a box of VCF in our cart (white box with pink & blue lettering on it) & he proceeds to place a bag of cat food over it so no one will see it! This is a man that refuses to allow feminine products in the cart when we shop together, or he'll hide them behind other items. I roll my eyes & off we go to finish up our shopping. While we are in the electronics department & he is browsing the shelves for some esoteric geek object, I decide to read the VCF box as I'm waiting for him. I'm standing there in plain sight for all & glory to see what I'm doing because folks, I'm 35 years old & have been buying feminine products since I was 13 so very little embarrasses me, if anything at all. Even a loud fart in church by yours truly just blows over (no pun intended). I hear "oh hell no" and suddenly the box is snatched out of my hand & tossed in the cart as I'm hustled out of that department.At this point I stop dead & drag my heals. When h looks at me I ask him-Don't you think it would attest to your virility that I need to protect myself from your fucking little swimmers? I honestly thought he was going to drop dead right there. I also said-it's not like I was reading the instructions out loud to you & everyone in the fucking electronics department!(I tend to swear when I get a wee bit irate-it's my Connecticut upbringing)

I am no longer allowed to take things out of the cart to read them so nonchalantly in public nor am I allowed to even buy the stuff when he is present. Ya gotta love the man but he is a little bashful on soethings. I dare not ever ask him to buy me a box of tampons-even if I was bleeding to death & desperately needed one to survive. He would hemorrhage himself in anxiety fits. He says I am not allowed to discuss this with my mother-who by the way about pissed herself when I told her, nor am I allowed to share this with any of my friends!ok, so I don't know any of you personally do I?

I Sold My Soul to the Devil This Weekend

2007-02-26T01:34:00.000-12:00

Yes I really did. My stepson wanted to go to Medieval Times Dinner Show for his 9Th birthday like he does every year. This time with a little friend of his. Oh My God! Medieval Times can be fun if you know nothing of historical reenactment. http://www.medievaltimes.com/ but for one such as myself, who used to belong to a medieval re creationist group for many years, this was shear murder. I felt like I sold my soul to the devil to go to this thing & motgaged my house to pay for it as well! And with my OCD, I have a hard time just sitting back & enjoying it for what it's worth- a dinner show. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I just can't do it! And because I am also such a gourmand- No I have to pull apart their food as well. I mean come on, I spent six months once researching & documenting a full meal on Cornish game hens & rabbit-how they are raised, fed, killed, prepared, and served at a royal feast when my brother was on the throne in our area of the reenactment group-just because I am a perfectionist. Sue me. ok ok, enough on that. Not only is the Florida MT the flagship & largest of all the dinner shows of this establishment, it likes to sink it's teeth in to your purse/ pockets & suck you dry of every last penny! They sell everything from wooden swords, axes, daggers, & shields to trinkets, photo ops with the "royalty" and shots (for adults to deaden their senses thank god) and light up swords & twirly gigs that kids just CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT that will be forgotten the moment they get home! But of course, the little buggers. I will admit that Austin & his friend had a blast though, booing every night that wasn't theirs and screaming themselves hoarse for their red & yellow knight. I always pay the extra fee & upgrade us to the front row "royalty" section so we're right in front because who wants to sit in the nose bleed seats right? But I usually end up with a screeching headache & a horrid case of the twitchy OCD's because of the injustice of the non historical incorrectness of it all. :) That's ok. To a 9 year old little boy, those choreographed sword fights look real. When he's bigger & stronger, and I am physically back up to snuff, I'll take him out into the back yard & teach him ho to really sword fight with rattan weapons & give him a good thumping on the arse-without child protective services screaming down my back because it's legal In the SCA to teach sword craft in such a way.

Princess Pandora

2007-02-23T02:10:00.000-12:00

She was my everything, my sweet Princess Pandora. Her & her half sister Persephone came into my life in 1992. I loved those two from the moment they became my babies. They moved with me everywhere, never complaining, always causing trouble with a sneaky feline superiority. They watched over Kini as a puppy & Buster, as well Kuma. Perse my screen slicer & tree climber and constant trouble maker- she's been so missed these last three years. But Pandora, my sweet Princess Pan & royal flower eater & fern stalker, she stuck through it all. Bouts of her hair loss & depression at losing her sister, my ex husband & his dog moving out, the KC Fat Tiger becoming part of our family forever, all the dogs I've babysat as well as the three feline terrorists that now reside with us. My surgeries, losses, triumphs, & so much more. Always there for me with her deep rumbling purr and her dainty paws. She would lie in my hair at night to sleep so she could be near me and her happiness at finding that she could trust & care for my husband-who spoiled her tenderly. She gained back all her lost weight & all of her hair over these past months and never seemed to be in any pain and was eating well. But in the last 2 days, she can hardly meow-it sounds like a weak echo of her former call. Her backbone is so prominent now & she practically screams if you pick her up gently. I can't let my sweet Princess live in pain like that. I have always said that any beloved baby of mine would live comfortably until there is no quality of life left. It's hard to let her go but it hurts worse to keep her like this. I've always hoped that she would go in her sleep and these last two days, she's kind of just given up. For people who say that cats & dogs are just pets, I say shit on you. They're my babies, my companions, my friends, and it hurts so very much to let go of and lose that friend. Sleep well my Princess Pan, you'll be forever in my heart until I see you once more to hold you in my arms & feel your paws in my hair again.

"She walks in beauty, like the night" by Lord Byron

2007-02-16T12:06:00.000-12:00

SHE walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies,

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meets in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellow'd to that tender light
5
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impair'd the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress

Or softly lightens o'er her face,
10
Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek and o'er that brow

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
15
But tell of days in goodness spent,—

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent.

These Kiddos Are A Damn Good Reason Why I get up in the Morning

2007-02-16T09:16:00.000-12:00

These three sweethearts are a big part of why I get up in the morning every day. They aren't the only reason but they are a really big part of it and I just wish I could see them more then once a year. They are my buddies & the children of my best friend Cathy. They grow so quickly & I miss out on so much. I went up in 2005 when Cole was barley a month old & then I saw them in Feb. of 2006 when Cathy & Jamie came down to Florida. Sydney is my sweetie & my oldest goddaughter. She has her confirmation & first communion coming up at the end of April. I've gotten her gift ready to send, but I'm trying to arrange it so that I can be up there that weekend & surprise her. I have yet to see the new house as well. Poor kiddos, they didn't know how to act with me last year, barely being able to hug them nor could I crawl around with them like I did the year before. I don't know who was more upset by that, Blake or myself. It's just hard sometimes. They color me pictures & make me gifts & I love to receive their care packages of love & kisses. These three live the farthest away from me up there in Ottawa and then there is my sweet Ellie in Texas who I have yet to meet. On of these days I'll get out there.

Depressive moments

2007-02-16T03:31:00.000-12:00

It's true when the medical & psych books talk about slight confusion being a form of mild depression, or depressive moments in a person's life. It's also true that laughter can be the best medicine at times.Endorphins are the body's natural "drugs" kicking in to lift your spirits so to speak. It's when the laughter stops & the endorphins subside, that the confusion & unhappiness can creep back in, like shadowy thieves on silent feet. It's not a big thing & it's less & less these days. But it's there to greet the inner self at certain times throughout the day. There is no actual cure for this, except to become whole again. Anything less is unacceptable. The words: but you're alive, you're here, your brain works, your mind thinks are no longer enough to curb the returning tide of malcontent within. The desire to stretch wings & fly, dance among the water reeds, swim with the manatees, or run all the fingers through sets of notes, hold fragile items within the palms & actually feel them. To create again, to be strong again, to be whole again, now. Not two years from now or possibly never, entirely unacceptable & unbearable to consider as part of the possible future.
It's not even a question of accepting what has happened to bring this about. A form of acceptance has occurred, regrets have been displaced by anger, unhappiness at what can no longer be done alone, some confusion as to why now, why me. Mostly just unhappiness at the injustice of it all.
Medication is not considered & fought at every turn as it is not a "cure" and in some cases a cause. A need to believe that this is not forever, the hope that it isn't when others are getting better & yet deep down, the hurtful realization that maybe, just maybe, this is it, all there will be.

My Pirate and Part of the Wizard's Den

2007-02-15T05:42:00.000-12:00

As you can see, the pic of us together was taken pre-stroke. Oh well, sue me. I really don't like pics taken post stroke. It's difficult for me to handle & see the way I look these days. The other pic is only a small part of the wizard's den. This one was taken a couple of years ago so you can't see how the peripherals actually stack up around that one monitor, nor the 2-3 other flat screens & towers directly across from the one you're seeing in this picture. The desk practically wraps around in a U shape in one half of that room. Behind that light colored monitor, there is a window that has the garden out there. Go figure-geeks with a veggie garden huh? I call this room the wizard's den for good reason. To the right of this desk is the DVD/CD shelves & already, we've run out of room. Oops. :). OK OK, yes, we tend to be kind of geeky on that score. I do believe my mother refers to us as techno yuppies. Whatever. Yes we both drive SUV's as well. Isn't that special? Now if I could just get little Mia down here for a while & introduced to my best friend Jeff..... maaaaaaaaaan wouldn't that be the bomb? Face it Mia, you know you want to meet him one of these days huh? It's just getting you outta NYC & down here for a visit! Oh man, I outta just send Little Jeff up there to you. That'd be easier huh?

Thursday Mid-Day Rant

2007-02-15T04:43:00.000-12:00

It's Thursday people. Come on.Did you have to jump up & bite me in the ass all of a sudden? I could have gone just one day without being even slightly aggravated by anything, Nope. Not a chance. I've got stuff I'm trying to work on to appease the Gimme Gods & because it's a really interesting topic & I 'd like to see an article published with my tag line under it. Heh-would be nice-it's been a while since I've seen one of those, other then my own useless blogs that is. :)

1. To the locksmith. $396 you stupid shit should have gotten me your ass in here holding that door shut personally! It's 2 freaking locks keyed to a master key. I worked in the tool coral at Depot nimrod- I used to re key locks all the fucking time. It's not rocket science. Duh.

2. The fact that you had to come back a second time because you screwed up the first two times proves to me you are an idiot & I am presenting the bill to the building manager. She suggested using you. God only knows why.

3. The building manager-in regards to the stupid look on your face when I presented you with the bill a few minutes ago. Yes, you said I HAD to use that dumb ass so YOU are reimbursing me for his shoddy workmanship. Lady, your door, your office, I'll kick it down. I've got better things to do with my time then stand there & let you stare at me in open mouthed stupidity like some stupid mouth breather born in the backwoods of hokey phinokey swamp. Deal with it.

4. To the fax ad service that will not remove my fax machine number from your dialing list no matter how many times I've requested you to do so: I have YOUR fax # now & I plan on using it. Repeatedly. As I fax you black sheets of paper continuously on the auto dialer so it uses up your toner cartridges. Yes, you've pissed me off now! Please enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed your useless repetitive faxes on low cost dental plans & siding estimates! pssssssssst nimrod- I live in a stucco sided house why the hell do I want shitty looking siding? Dumb ass.

5. Yes I know what a deadline is. I also know what 4 cylinders of helium & oxygen look like when they've been tossed out of a second story window on top of some one's sorry ass the last time they complained to me about a deadline. I plead limb spasticity from my stroke. Sorry, I can't control that palsied cheese grater shake in my left arm all the time & loud noises irritate it into movement. So that fly that farted 2 blocks away shortly after you walked out of my building preempted the fatal strike of the canisters flying out aforementioned window. Oops. My bad. Blame the stroke.

Mr. Clean is in da house!

2007-02-15T02:04:00.000-12:00

I don't know what I would do without this guy in my life. He's my other best male friend. Scottie T, aka Big Scottie, Mr. Clean, Scottie the Closer. I met him when I started working at Home Depot back in 99. I was assigned to the paint department and I was stacking 5 gallon buckets as I watched a huge door with legs go walking by me. Literally. After the door was deposited off at the service counter, this guy comes walking back through my department & stops to introduce himself. He says "hi, my name is Scottie & I'm closing Building Materials tonight. The Assistant Manager said you don't have your reach truck license yet so if you need anything brought don fro the overheads, let me know." I was rooted in my place. Here was this dude that carried a fucking double door, under ONE arm, and he looked exactly like the guy off the Mr. Clean bottle. I nearly wet myself laughing at the incongruity of it all. Scott & I became fast friends after that night. His department lead, Big Tony was a mountain of a guy (rest his soul, Tony passed away a few years ago at the age of 36), who's hand was bigger than my entire head. I loved these two guys like brothers. They took care of me on the nights we were closing the store & made sure that all the drunk assholes that were drawn to paint like moths to a fucking light source left me the hell alone. A typical Friday night in our old store went like this:

Me(at 5'3" tall) faced off with 2 belligerent drunk construction workers who came in through the front doors (paint was by the main entrance) and wanted "their shit for a morning job"-all 20 fucking gallons of it but they couldn't remember what color was needed & me, being the paint goddess I was-should have been able to divine their fucking wishes via their booze addled brains. yeah right. I actually had one start poking me in the shoulder wanting his "fucking supplies Little Missy-the boss man ordered it earlier today!" (yeah from Lowe's you knuckle-dragging neanderthal!). Scottie & Tony happened to be carrying up orders from receiving at this point & watched all this unfold. As far as Scottie was concerned, the sun shined out of my ass I would babysit his girls at a moment's notice so he & his wife could go out to dinner on occasion & Tony thought I made the best martini's this far south of NYC when I was bar tending so in effect: I CAN DO NO WRONG! Besides, the last thing anyone wanted to do at that store was piss of the safety captain (me) because it would mean I would shake hell in their department before the end of their shift! Scottie stood behind me as Tony stepped up to the drunken slugs pretending to be humans & politely informed them that they were leaving the store. NOW. Those two buffoons started laughing & teasing me saying I had to get my "boys" to protect me. Scottie said "nope-we're here to prevent her from killing you shit heads & us having to clean up the bloody mess when she decides to rip you limb from limb." I loved working with those guys on the evening shifts & over night pack downs.It always amused me.

Poor Scottie. He has the most beautiful of two little girls who I enjoy being around every chance I get. His (now) ex-wife is a T-Rex bitch and moved to Long Island & took the two angels with her. Scottie is still here in Florida, working two full-time jobs to take care of his girls. I get to see them when they visit & he flies up there all the time. We've always confided in each other since the beginning & have a great understanding between us. He was there for me during my divorce & offered to hide a body a time or two for me and I likewise for him. He used to tease me about my roommate Jon & we'd go bowling on Sunday nights with a few friends to blow off some steam & have a couple of beers-me trying not to beat Sandy's skull in with my 14lb ball & him pitching his 20 pound ball down the lane at approximately 24 mph! nice Scott, really nice there dude-try keeping it in OUR lane next time huh? Sometimes, you just need a friend like that. Besides, Capricorns & Sanitarians make really great lifelong friends. Now I need to find him a decent girl to date. So far I have not approved of any of the ones that he's gone out with lately. need I repeat this? eeeeeeeeeeeeew Scottie, you can dry hump her all you want but dear God don't let her know where you live! Bleck!

tattoos & house painting

2007-02-14T10:18:00.000-12:00

No, my ass is not this big nor am I as bloated as I look in this picture. It's the angle, I swear. I was cruising the home computer last night while downloading music and found this picture. I could beat my husband with a wet paintbrush, I swear. I thought he was kidding at the time about taking this picture. When he sent me the slides of all the pics taken of painting this room-amazingly enough this one wasn't in there! And people wonder why I don't believe in filming/snapping pics of personal sexual acts. Folks, that shit WILL come back to haunt you! Just look at the prime examples out there: Paris hilton, Pam Anderson, Brett Micheals. All together now: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. At the time, Jeff said that he wanted a pic of one of my tattoos. I rolled my eyes & said "honey, I'm painting your bedroom, do you mind?" Obviously he didn't did he? So I droppd my drawers a little so to speak & this is what you get! Now that I've upset my uncle who sometimes reads this blog & made a couple of my more inhibited friends squirm over the idea of the amount of time spent having needles actually touch my skin to create this lifelong work of art on me.....there. Never thought you'd see it huh Macey? One of these days I'll get around to getting another one. I'm unbalanced so to speak (no not crazy!)as it is with the ones I have. And actually, once you start collecting them, it becomes like an itch to get more. I've been good so far but I think I'll treat myself in a few months. I've got a change jar sitting on my dresser labeled "tattoo" and it's slowly growing. he he he he he.

Halloween 2006 Finger Foods

2007-02-14T10:12:00.000-12:00

I just found this picture & decided that I had to share it. Hubby & I went to a couple of Halloween parties last year, OK-2 in one night to be exact. But to the second one, I was asked to bring a dish of some sort. I asked the host, my friend Jay what I should bring? He said "oh anything easy! Some finger foods or something." Wa-lah! I present: FINGER FOOD! :) Yes I was very amused by these. I didn't have time to make the molded eyeballs though. For shame, I wish I did. That's ok, I'll make & bring them next year! They were a hoot though, I will admit. Jay adored them. The more gruesome it was-the happier he would be!

Music

2007-02-14T07:04:00.000-12:00

I would have to say that music is a big part of my every day routine. I listen to just about everything. Well, except for whiny country and rap. I'm not big fans of either. My interests range from classical to blues, to contemporary jazz, to avantgarde, to hardcore metal, to electronica & techno... you get the point. I have an extensive collection of Cd's spanning music's induction to modern day, covering such genre's as 80's rock & Native American flutes, & more. I don't know what would be my favorite considering I can run a discourse on just about everything out there, except whiney country & hard beat rap. I can't stand that stuff. Not my thing. And music trivia? You really don't want to play musical trivial pursuit with me, unless you are on my team, because I will torment you & dominate the board. Just my nature. The play lists on my laptop read like a who's-who of the musical revolution & I can key all sorts of shit up at a moment's notice. I listen to satellite radio via the web all day long at the office as well & bomb diggity folks- I love that!
For the moment though, I am stuck in a rut so to speak. I have my friend Adam W.'s bands' CD in my truck stereo & I keep listening to my other friend Ad's stuff on my laptop. I like both. Although I do admit to taking a break yesterday & brushing up on some Dokken & Wasp tunes-helps clear the head & gets the paperwork off my desk! I like Ad's stuff though. It's very, haunting. I enjoy it because it is something he has created from within himself. It's different. Sort of on the edge of electronic Goth but not. It's more than what you'd hear on the radio & definitely different. If I could get him to write more for me, then again he tells me that there is more, he just hasn't laid it down yet. Ad is an old friend of mine from my childhood. Someone I lost track of for so many years and have recently gotten in touch with again. He tells me that he hadn't touched his equipment in so long and yet once I got him to share some of his stuff with me-the itch was there. It was like revisiting an old memory. It left him wanting to bring it out again. I'm glad for that. He was so talented way back & I think all that I've heard so far is wonderful stuff. More then likely now that I have his attention with this, I wonder if I can convince him to make more for me? Not just for me, but for himself as well. It's in there, deep inside. Now I just gtta get him to share his toys & play nicely.

Ponderings

2007-02-14T06:56:00.000-12:00

This was posted on my Myspace account recently. Some of them are actually quitegood. They do maky you go hmmmmmmmmmmm. OK, so I get some weird shit posted on my account at times, but that's alright, I tend to share them with others as well.
For that matter, why is there an expiration date on a bag/box of croutons? Aren't croutons just stale hard bread? Go figure.

Game On

2007-02-14T01:13:00.000-12:00

It's Wednesday. I got the recycling bins out this morning (yeah, I felt like a big girl because I did it all by myself too!) I strolled back up to the garage (OK what I do cannot technically be considered strolling-it's more like step drag limp, step drag limp, but who cares? But I digress) and notice a fuzzy black cat staring at me from the corner of the wood fence from my neighbor's yard. Now I realize that cats like me. For some weird reason they consider me the feline pied piper of the cat dish- I don't know. But this was a little unnerving to have this orange eyed black fur ball just staring at me. So I stared back at it-without blinking. Cats play that game with each other & humans. I can play it too. I have a feeling that this is the cat that's been pissing in my front bushes & along side of the house next to the garden. If I catch it doing so, I'm going to dump a whole bucket of water on it. Enough to shock the hell out of it. I am never cruel to animals. I would rather torture adults-that's more fun. Hurting animals has no joy for me & I think anyone that does should be flayed alive & rolled in salt for good measure.But I can't stand the smell of cat piss! I have five cats & they are inside kitties-always. I will never lose another cat to being run over in front of my eyes ever again. (I'm the same way with dogs. I was 8 years old when I watched my dog Scruffy get hit by a speeding driver & it has affected me all of my life.) But just because my cats stay indoors does not mean that their litter box stinks or that my house smells like cats. I am very fastidious about keeping their box clean! Ack! I won't use a dirty bathroom why should they? But I digress. Back to the fuzzball this morning.
I have turned the sprinklers on the orange tabby that used to come in the yard with the same obsession of using the freshly turned dirt in the garden as his personal dumping ground. Now that cat passes through my yard like his tail was on fire. Oh, and Kuma hates strange cats in his yard! They'd better be fast in his opinion! He hasn't caught one yet & I don't think he'd hurt it if he did-more likely he'd slobber it silly. But this fur ball just kept staring at me this morning, all beady-eyed & unblinking so I stopped & stared back at him/her. This went on for a while and might have kept going if it wasn't for my husband walking out into the garage & looking at me questioningly. He scared the cat & it sauntered slowly off back to it's own yard. It stepped behind the orange tree but peered back at me & blinked. I know we'll see each other again. I refuse to back down from a cat & I have a feeling that this little piss ant is saying the same thing about humans. As far as I'm concerned: Game On buddy, I'll be waiting. Pack a lunch & bring a friend for moral support & to drag your sorry ass back home because you're going to lose & I've got enough buckets of water & a strong right pitching arm to prove it.

Tuesday Morning Rant

2007-02-13T01:28:00.000-12:00

Just because I can & I'm in a pissy mood.

1. I can't stand how long the light takes to change at the corner of Lucas & SR3. Come on people, it's not like I'm waiting for a freaking bus! I'm driving! There is no reason to sit & wait an extra 40 seconds once the light changes green. If someone is going to run that light, they'd have already done it buy now. All you are doing by waiting is pissing me off forcing me to lay on the horn!

2. For the dumb ass sitting on the park bench in front of the elevator in my office building at 6:45 this morning: NO, I will NOT unlock the glass door to the south hallway for you. You should have brought your own set of keys this morning; that is IF you actually work here. If you don't-then tough shit. Wait for your doctor's office to open to let you in. You aren't one of my patients nor do you work for me so I do NOT have to let your sorry ass into the building.

3. To the high school student in the red Geo: I drive an Xterra you dumb ass. I have 20+ years of driving experience over you plus I use to drive muscle cars through my teens & 20's on a quarter mile track. Your Honda is a stock 4 cylinder whereas mine is a V6-do you see where I'm going with this? I also had a stroke & have NO FEAR OF DYING! I can & will nudge you off the road if you think that driving like a lunatic down the road & thinking you can race up on my ass & blare your horn at me as you try to pass me in that POS will get you somewhere. I'm 35-that means I have great insurance-you're all of what? 16? Enough said there on the insurance coverage. Besides, I'm friends with ALL the cops in this town-whose story do you think they'll believe when it comes down to it? Some punk ass teenager or their stroke survivor friend from high school with tears in her eyes who said she "was so scared"? Nuff said on that one as well dumb ass.

4. Why in the heck did my 8 month old tuxedo kitten Mocha decide that all of a sudden she has to bite me when the alarm clock goes off? This is a new trick and it is NOT appreciated! It's funny when my mom's cats do it to her-that's why they are now nicknamed Alarm & Snooze. But it's just horrid when mine does it to me!

KC Fat Tiger Cat

2007-02-12T04:07:00.000-12:00

I did not name this bundle of furry love. She came into my life bearing the moniker of KC. I don't know what it stands for, my former step kid was only 2 when she named the cat so I really don't know. When I met my exhusband, she was his cat, or more appropriately, KC belonged to his daughter by way of her mother, who dumped the cat at KM's place of residence. KC promptly abandoned all ties to aforementioned 3 year old stepdaughter & latched on to me. Quite literally. KW (my former stepdaughter's mother) demanded the cat back on several occasions. I told her to fork over $2000 & I would consider it.By the time my ex & I headed into the divorce, KC had been in my life for about 6 years so I'd been paying for all of her food, her litter, & her medical bills. I wasn't going to part with her without a fight! Needless to say, I won. My ex was not a strong enough person to face me over a cat. He should be thankful I let him keep his dog! But KC couldn't stand KM or her father (my ex), so with me she has been ever since! She adores me. Sleeps huddled up in the crook of my arm with her head snuggled under my chin & her paws grasping my arm. She likes my husband. She likes the fact that she can con him out of wet food on the weekends as well! When I'm not home, she sneaks into the closet & hides in my basket shelf of socks, protecting herself from the evil intentions of the younger tuxedo cats in the household. She is such a luv. I taught her how to give kisses and we call her ginsu because of her extremely sharp claws. Kuma adored her as a puppy & thought that she was the bomb! He would waddle along behind her trying to snuggle with her when he was lonely and she would allow him to do so when she thought no one was looking.

More Lyrics stuck in my head

2007-02-12T03:48:00.000-12:00

Far Away Lyrics - All The Right Reasons-Nickelback
This time,
This place
Misused,
Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance Just one breath
Just in case theres just one left
Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you, I have loved you all along And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask, Last chance
for one last dance
Cause with you,
I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go,
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
So far away so far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing Cause Im not leaving you anymore.
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, hold on to me, never let me go.

Monday Morning Mood

2007-02-12T00:44:00.000-12:00

I really like these buttons. Thank you Kimmie for sending me that mail. I have some of them already, and as a matter of fact, I have them in my office hanging on my corkboard. Mondays really suck sometimes. Today is not any better than any of the last ones since the start of 2007. I had a decent weekend, don't get me wrong. I guess it wasn't long enough though. We got a lot done in the house though which was nice. I think part of it is that A.-my stepson went to his idiot mother's house for a few hours on Sunday & when he comes back from being with her & her boyfriend/cousin (yup it's true-they met at a family reunion. scary huh?), he is all riled up, ill-mannered & acting like a wannabe redneck. Eeeeeeew. I'm a northerner born & bred. A New Englander at that. So encountering that ill-mannered attitude on his part always brings out the mule headed stubborn bitchiness in me. Why yes it does. I can't help myself. Shock, horror. Oh, and B-it's raining outside this morning, and C-my husband fell asleep on me last night without even a kiss goodnight. I guess saying his son was being an asshole kind of ticked him off. Hmmmmmmm. D-Did I mention it was THAT time of the month for me as well? So let's see........ yup.. a no-win situation all around! I wanted to cry this morning. Oh wait, I nearly did-out of frustration that is. I've been trying to put my hair up in ponytails by myself. I can't do it. Fucking stroke. I was morose, moody, in the dumps, & I wanted to scream. I had to get him to put it in a ponytail for me. I hate being like this.

Furry slippers with teeth

2007-02-12T00:19:00.000-12:00

My parents own two small dogs, shih-tzus to be exact. I call them furry slippers with teeth. Growing up in Connecticut my parents had big dogs, Alaskan Malamutes that were strong & determined & beautiful. Here in Florida, nearly 21 years after leaving New England, they have...these...bathroom carpets that yodel & yip in high pitched excitement whenever the phone rings or my mother or myself comes through the front door. I don't even like small dogs so I don't understand why they sing for me! My mom, yes, me-why?

My parents dogs Taz & Sheeza do NOT look anything like this picture nor do they conform to the AKC breed standsrd. Sheeza, yeah you can tell she's one of these furry feet chewers, but Taz, he looks like a Lhasa Apso more than a Shih-tzu. A brief history of the Shit Tzu:
The Shih Tzu, or "lion" dog, probably originated from matings between Tibetan Lhasa Apso dogs brought to China during the 17th century and native Pekingese dogs. The Shih Tzu became a favorite of the Imperial Chinese court. The breed was so revered that for many years after the Chinese began trading with the West, they refused to sell, or even give away, any of the little dogs. It was not until 1930 that the first pair was imported to England. The Shih Tzu was recognized in Britain in 1946 and by the AKC in the United States in 1969. Today the breed is very popular, both as a companion and as a glamorous show dog. Yeah, um, uh-huh. What do MY parents get? ok let me correct that, what does my DAD get? Who the hell knows. As far as I'm concerned, they are mini devils in disguise! I kid you not.
Let me give you some more facts on this "engaging" breed.
Personality:Assertive and engaging. Arrogant and proud. Alert and spunky. Very loyal. Friendly. Likes his comforts. Playful and lively. Needs to be with people. Can be willful, but will respond to training. Can be snappish if surprised or peeved.
Behavior:Children: Best with older, considerate children. Friendliness: Fairly friendly with strangers.Trainability: Slightly difficult to train.Independence: Moderately dependent on people.Dominance: High.Other Pets: Generally good with other pets.Combativeness: Friendly with other dogs.Noise: Likes to bark.
Taz, hates my dog Kuma but he LOVES my standard poodle Kini, go figure. He so hated the other dog my dad brought home that they had to place the Sheltie with another family for fear of blood shed! Yet, Taz likes my sister-in-laws sheperds, to a point. Weird little dog. He gets snappy with my mom about his feet but when he tries that with me, I give him "THE LOOK" and he knows better. There will only be one winner in that contest of wills, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be some little freaked out dog. Likes to bark? Is that what you call what they do? Hell no! I say it's ear splitting yodeling! Whenever any phone rings in their house, the dogs start up a rendition of "oh my god the roof is caving in" in their highest octave possible. I think it's because my dad is partially deaf. but if you're the one on the other end of the line when someone picks up, you think that the damn animals are being skinned alive!
I walk through the door and make it through the six choruses of hallelulah in woof woof bark bark, my fingers get chewed on by Sheeza. It's a ritual. They come careening around the corner all pell mell & realize it's me & these little teeth come out & start nibbling in my fingers, looking for attention. Furry slippers with teeth. I could punt them into next week with my bad leg, but I wouldn't. They love my parents & I guess that's all that matters. Now me, I own something the size of a small couch with teeth, not slippers!

Beauty trapped Within

2007-02-10T19:09:00.000-12:00

Thank you for the beautiful pictures Hsin. It's how I feel at times, frozen in a momemt's notice. they are beautiful to stare at and I am glad you are taking pictures again, I've missed them. I could spend a day walking through nature & gazing at all of the little miracles that grace my path & enjoy them for beauty's sake. I would dance among the ferns again if I could as well.

Winter's cold embrace,

Around us it's arms are placed.

For that which we have searched for years,

Upon finding now only brings stray tears.

A lonely thought spreads its wings

Waiting for that which sings.

A dream unfurled it's petals to the light,

Straining to bask in warmth after so long a night.

Never far from my thoughts have you been,

Since we last spoke & all the years in between.

My Brother Rob

2007-02-10T01:13:00.000-12:00

He's a pretty cool guy & I love him a lot. He's special. Not in a "special ed" kind of way, but he is different then most others. Ah hell, all the kids in my family are "different" in some kind of way. We were never team players growing up. Just a fact of life. My oldest brother Mike played all the important sports growing up and for all of his school teams until the day the Junior high told my brother Rob he couldn't play because of his feet. Then Mike dropped out of everything-immediately. The high school was devastated-they wanted Mike playing & needed him to play. But if Rob couldn't, Mike was going to either. Loyalty is like that in our family-guess it's the Native American Indian in us-or the French Canadian-either way, we're stubborn as mules at times. I remember Rob being so upset because he wanted to play sports. At the time I was on a kiddie league swim team during the summer up in Canada & when I got home, I too refused all sorts of team dependent sports. Thankfully kickboxing is a one on one sport & does not have to be team oriented. So I chose that & stuck with it through my teenage years. I played a little bit of rugby in college for a semester for my university. But after not being team oriented for so many years-I dropped off. My brothers & I were all on the same paintball team for a while. I think it was the only "team" sport we all truly enjoyed!
I am proud of Rob these days. They are times I think he is an A number one asshole & times growing up that I wanted to throttle him. There are even instances in our adult years that walk the line of us losing our friendship (which would hurt my mother so I think that has kept us in line on those rare occasions). Rob is a good guy though. He's pragmatic & funny, doesn't take shit from anyone, loves his two sons & wife, is an awesome emergency flight nurse here in our county, is smart & is somewhat of an adrenaline junkie but that's assuaged by riding Life Flight. He's my brother and I love him, even when I am mad at him. I still think he's the biggest yuppie in our family though. I may not be too far behind him but still, he is the worst of us! :)

Please tell me my mom slept with the postman to get me.

2007-02-05T01:28:00.000-12:00

I had to drop some stuff off at my folks house yesterday. I knew I shouldn't have because these people never cease to amaze me at times. I get there & my mother is cursing out the telephone again (trust me when I say that when it comes to my swearing: I don't lick it off the grass-it's an inherited trait.) I'm tired of it. This has been going on for MONTHS! I packed her into my car & off we went to Target. We found one with an answering machine, speakerphone, & a second handset. So we purchased that & headed back home to set it up. My parents are by no means dumb. In fact, my father is so smart that it's painful & my mother works in pharmaceutical research traveling around monitoring sites. But they have both fought technology as much as they possibly could & depend on me to do as much for them as possible. But I digress from the original intent of this posting. I get the phone system set up & I record the outgoing message because, well just because. I should have said Spivey Mortuary services on it, but you know what? They'd probably get repeat calls requesting services so I didn't want to take any chances with that. Let's just say, been there, done that, lived through THAT mistaken drunken dial recorded effort once before (I had to change my number to unlisted for a while after that. NEVER assume you can record your outgoing message after several tequila shots-just don't do it). I hear my father calling out to me from another room asking me if I have my phone on me. Let's see-since my parents constantly accuse me of having my cell phone permanently attached to my ass then the answer here would be yes. He wants me to take a picture of him with my phone and email it to him. I shudder at the thought of this. You see, some months ago I updated both of my patents cell phones & mistakenly bought them ones with cameras in them. They spent half a day having "camera wars" & taking photos of each other around their house when they least expected it, of the dogs, of the cats, of anything that amused them. I so need to turn that feature off on theirs. But they don't know how to send them anywhere which is good! I told them that it is very expensive to send them. LOL. I had to. Their phones are on my plan & they'd kill me with the games these two play. So back to my story now. My father comes out of his room dressed in an old orange snowsuit of his holding his passport up & holding on to my mom's travel suitcase. You know you want to ask about this right? Yes I live in Florida, & that snowsuit is an old one of his from when we used to allow that man to go deer hunting (with his side of the family up in North Carolina). But you are wanting to know why he's wearing it & why he wanted this pic taken. The gist of it is this, my mom has to travel all over the US & Canada for work. Well with the new travel laws implemented as of this year, she needs a passport to get back in to the US from Canada. She's been trying to get one for 7 months. 7 MONTHS. Nice huh? My dad applied for one in December & it came on Friday of last week. Can we say my mom is just a wee bit pissed? So my dad wanted this pic taken so he can email it to my mom's regional manager to tell her he's ready to go in my mom's place to Canada since my mom can't go. Nice huh? Have I failed to mention that we live on an Island (of sorts- but it is an Island like Manhattan is an Island) and we don't usually let him drive off the Island. He hates to fly alone because he gets confused at how fast the world zips by him. And I had the stroke huh? My mother called him several choice names yesterday so I know I come by my foul language use naturally. But please tell me she slept with the mail man to get me. Dear God tell me I am NOT related to this man. My oldest sister-in-law tells me I'm just like my older brother: physically we look alike & our temperaments are the same. My excuse is that my folks moved around a lot while my dad worked for GE & that the mailman or the UPS man kept following my folks cuz he liked my mom. I hope so.

Papillona Sky's Post. A. No. Secret. Tag: February

2007-02-05T01:11:00.000-12:00

It’s a new month and time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.Here’s the run down:

1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky.

2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.

3. Revealing your identity is optionalBe careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.

This is my POST.A.NO.SECRET contribution for February.

Rules of the Toilet Seat

2007-02-02T12:08:00.000-12:00

I am thankful that my husband knows the rules of the toilet seat. My father sure as hell doesn't. But we'll get to him in a minute. My husband though, he's an angel. When he lifts the seat-yes he lifts the seat to pee! (I know, I know, you're all jealous already!), he is kind enough to place the seat back down! No late night groggy eyed ass dipping into cold water for me! I am so grateful for this man. He has perfect aim as well & keeps it all in the toilet, never splashing on the rim either. Ah bliss thy name is tidy husband.
Now my father on the other hand? For the love of all that's holy! I have to work with the man. I could kill him and no law in the land would convict me. He leaves the seat up, has piss poor aim (pardon the pun please) and is a royal pain in my behind. I am constantly having to remind him to put the seat down & to clean up after himself-every where in our office! I am beginning to remember why I moved out as soon as I could.
There are rules to living or working with females and my father blatantly ignores all of them. I used to hate this when I lived in their house. My number one pet peeve has got to be: put the toilet seat AND the lid back down when you are done! I have dogs at home & I don't like them drinking out of the toilet because they'll leave water all over the seat & we all know that dogs won't wipe up dripped water after themselves & sitting on that water bbrings to mind the horrid thought that maybe just maybe, the dogs WEREN'T the last ones to use that toilet. Then there are the cats & I don't want them falling in to a toilet or dropping/bouncing their toys into the toilet either. But at work, I have to constantly remind my dear dad to PUT THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT DOWN! I don't care as much about the lid-even though my OCD just writhes at the thought of it being left up, I can deal with it.
I talked this over with my husband & he constantly reminds me that no court in the land would convict me as long as a jury of my peers consisted of men & women with OCD. My stepson is 8, almost 9, years old & he is terrible about the bathroom rules. Not just the toilet seat but the entire set of bathroom rules: toothpaste on the walls, wet towels crumpled on the rod, soap flung on the shower curtain, tissues all around the garbage can, & pee on the rim & seat. I refuse to step foot in that bathroom & make my husband clean it up. I won't touch that fuckig mess. It ain't mine! His progeny so his pee to deal with.
At work, I go throug the place at the end of every week & dump the garbage cans, scrub down the bathrooms, vacuum the floors, & wipe down the counters-I have to. Mentally & physically I HAVE to do it.. I fretted about this while I was in the therapy center because I know it wasn't getting done while I was gone. I was frantic. I think that was one of the things that motivated me ti get the hell out of there: toilet seats left up & over flowing garbage cans at my office.
Rules of the Toilet Seat
1. Lift it BEFORE using it
2. Wipe it off the rim if necessary-paper towels/tissues are available in the bathroom!
3. Lower the seat back down when done
4. All used paper towels/tissues go IN the bag IN the garbage can
5. Feminine napkins DON'T get flushed nimrods-wrap them & place them in the garbage.

Pretty simple in my opinion. I'm beginning to think that classes in this etiquette should be offered in schools from Kindergarten & refreshed at the start of every school year all the way through college & the military if necessary. You would think that common sense dictates that every one adhere to these simple rules of common bathroom courtesy. Nope.

Gypsy Drawn

2007-02-02T11:59:00.000-12:00

Gypsy drawn is what you be,
For the love I have and share with thee.
No matter where where you go or whom you see,
It's known that for now you belong to me.
By the light of the dawn and the fall of the night,
I draw you to me with all of my might.
For those in the circle that deem it not right,
I care not a wit as I hold you so tight.
Alone in the world for all that would know,
Only for you does my heart silently grow.
If not for circumstance I would allow it to show,
And tell the whole world just where they could go.
As I lay in bed and count the stars in the sky,
I wait for the tendrils to pull me up high.
Alone in my mind I can only but sigh,
And wait for the moment to lay alongside your thigh.
It's asleep that you are as I sit and stare,
Like a creature you are without even a care.
I would wake you and show you if only I dare,
But no dreams would come and it would not be fair.
Like a thief in the night I slip into your sleep,
You only smile so slightly and never utter a peep.
Away we go ever so deep,
And held in my arms is where you I keep.
Before dawn's first light is when I must go,
To slip away again before anyone should know.
It's tired I am so the return is so slow,
But I leave you with a kiss just so you'll know.

Songs In My Head Right Now

2007-01-31T06:12:00.000-12:00

I should call Mia & sing these to her, she would deserve it for sending me that one freaking song that I sang/hummed for days on end the little brat. Oh Man I so owe her badly for that! I fugured if maybe, just maybe. I post them, they'll go away. Funny thing is, they are both Peter Gabriel Songs, I wonder why? Something is on my mind, who the hell knows. I go off on weird musical tangents at times.

"I Grieve"

it was only one hour ago

it was all so different then

there's nothing yet has really sunk in

looks like it always did

this flesh and bone

it's just the way that you would tied in

now there's no-one home

i grieve for you you

leave me

'so hard to move on

still loving what's gone

they say life carries on carries on

and on and on and on

the news that truly shocks is the empty empty page

while the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage

and i can't handle this

i grieve for you

you leave me

let it out and move on missing what's gone

they say life carries on

they say life carries on and on and on

life carries on

in the people i meet

in everyone that's out on the street

in all the dogs and cats

in the flies and rats

in the rot and the rust

in the ashes and the dust

life carries on and on and on and on

life carries on and on and on

it's just the car that we ride in

a home we reside in the face that we hide in

the way we are tied in

and life carries on and on and on and on

life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?

or did i believe this dream?

now i can find relief

i grieve

"In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes

days pass and this emptiness fills my heart

when I want to run away

I drive off in my car

but whichever way I go

I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyesI am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyesI see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light

the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain

so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away

I get so tired of working so hard for our survival

I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside

in your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyesI am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyesI see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh, I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light,the heat

I see in your eyesin your eyes

in your eyes

Maybe now that I've written it down, it'll get them both the hell out pf my head! LOL. whew.

Not Something I Remember

2007-01-31T02:18:00.000-12:00

My husband took this picture September 20, 2005. I don't remember it. I was in a coma lying there in this picture. I'm glad I don't remember this picture being taken. This is what happens sometimes when you have a stroke after having a brain tumor removed. I remember the constant pain though those first couple of weeks-Lordy I wish I didn't remember that either! I was 33 years old at the time. Active, vibrant, full of laughter, full of life. When I realized what happened, which actually wasn't till days later, I wished I was dead. I woke up to confusion, pain, & the inability to move my entire left side-I just didn't realize that at first. People that suffer from strokes tend to over look the fact that they can't move one side of their body, and boy did I overlook a great deal the first couple of days! Until I tried to really do something on my own. Then what they told me started to sink in: I HAD A STROKE. I think at the time I was still on so many drugs though that the full implication of it was not getting through to me. I knew what a stroke was, I knew I couldn't move, but I didn't believe that ME, that I had it. Naaaaaaaaaah, that was someone else. I would get better I just knew it. The first brain tumor operation in 94 made me weak & I was in bed for almost a week before I could move so this one couldn't be any different. That was the bacterial meningitis & the high fevers talking through me there. I was clueless. I kept thinking that given more time, I would snap out if it! It wasn't till I was moved to Sea Pines & I was completely off the heavy stuff by the first full day there, that a tech said: nope girlie, you're paralyzed & from the looks of it, it could be forever. When the doctor came in that morning for an evaluation with me, he knew he couldn't pull the wool over my eyes or hide the truth from me. he said that it would be a hard process but that I was young & could get it back-somewhat if I really tried. But that he didn't know when or how long it would take, or if I ever would really get out of a wheelchair. He said that I was so weak on the left side that my leg muscles had already started atrophiing in 3 weeks time. That really sucked to hear. At least he didn't sugar coat it with me. That is something I would never respect from a doctor, a lie or sugar coating. I work in the medical field so it's not an easy thing to accomplish in my opinion.

It's been 1 year, 4 months, & 12 days since my stroke. Most of my hair has grown back on the right side. I can walk, badly, but I do it. I trip a lot & my left leg has a mind of it's own at times. My foot turns under & doesn't support me correctly damnit. My arm tends to shake like a palsied cheese grater on crack and I can barely lift my left arm over my head. I can open & close my hand but I can't tie laces or open cracker packets or pick coins up. At least I no longer wish I was dead and I only cry to myself in a pity party of frustration maybe two times a week instead four to five times a day like Iused to at first in sheer depression. Let's see where I'm at by my strokeversary year #2. I have some hope deep down inside.

He's My Best Friend & I Wanna Punch Him in the Nose

2007-01-30T04:02:00.000-12:00

My best friend Jeff is just that, my bestest & dearest male friend. He's originally from West Virginia & he has very old fashioned ideas in regards to holding doors open for women, paying for meals, bringing a girl flowers, things like that. I love him dearly and have known him since I was 15. He taught me how to work on old cars & his grandmother taught me the WV mountain way of giving someone the bird (there's a twist to the wrist to give it pinache). I met Jeff not too long after I moved to Florida. I was hanging out at one of the local teen party places when he asked me if I was of Native American heritage. I thought it was the weirdest pick up line in all of my young years & I told him to watch it, or I'd just aim for his nose & be done with it. He laughed & said "no no no, my mom is a hairdresser & is looking for someone with long dark straight hair for a hair show she's got coming up to do some styles to. I swear! Here is her card, call her on Monday." And that's how we met. His mom had been my hairdresser ever since that fateful Monday when I called her to verify the wrestling jock's story (he was wearing his high school sport jacket with the wrestling emblem on it). Ever since then, we have been inseperable! Aways hanging out together,, double dating to the high school dances or to movies, covering for each other on drunken binges (hey, HE puked in the plastic garbage pail & warped it,! I just puked over the side of the bbuilding-no harm, no foul!)

A few times over the years he has irritated me enough to threaten to punch him in the nose like the night we met. One of which happened to be when he told me he had gotten engaged to a certain person (named omitted to protect the innocent). Oh Lord was that a fiasco! His outdoor wedding-in August.in Florida!-was a joke and the marriage lasted all of 4 months before she wierded out and he had to file for divorce. Another time I wanted to sock him one was when he threw me over the side of a railing at the beach & I landed on my wrist & sprained it & my fingers. I could have popped him one-but then I learned never to let him drink koolaide & rum & believe the words: "trust me-Chris will catch you!" Especialy not to believe those words when I'd been drinking vodka & cranberry juice all evening long as well. Oh yeah, THAT was a fun ER visit.

When Jeff pinned my escort doors closed by him & Chris each parking on either side of my car about an inch & a half from it so I couldn't open the doors & I was forced to climb in through the hatchback-and I was wearing a skirt to school that day: yup I wanted to punch them BOTH in the nose! I was late for my appointment because of those two AND I made an ass out of myself-literally-by mooning the entire parking lot that day as I climbed over the year seats! Ahaaaaaaah, modesty not withstanding that day. He made up for that by going out one Friday night to 528 Island in drag as an apology to me. The boy looked good in a short skirt I must admit-his legs were cut from working out & his chest had definition so we stuffed the bikini top so it looked like he had boobs. When we were in 7-11 paying for gas, the attendent hit on us "....hey chicas....looking gooooooooooood mamas!" and Jeff turned around with his mustache & blew the guy a kiss. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants at the look on the guy's face-it definately made up for it.

I've gone to his doctor appointments with him to hold his hand while the doc drained the fluid out from behind his knee with a huuuuuuuge ass needle since my boy Jeff is terrified of needles and he's also given me hell over the years for my tattoos. He's been there for me through all of my surgeries and ongoing recovery as I have veen for his. I hate that he injured his back 10 years ago and has to walk with a cane. He's a wonderful guy& some people can't seem to see past the cane.

His last girlfriend couldn't deal with it after 6 years of being together & left on a bad note. I hate to see him by himself because I know he has so much love in his heart & fun in his veins. He's just an awesome guy. We've never dated because some people are just meant to be friends & that's us. We can talk about anything under the sun & nothing is off limits, even when I want to punch him in the nose at times.

Class of 1990-A snapshot back in time

2007-01-29T08:36:00.000-12:00

It's still hard for me to believe that I looked like this once. I was 17 in this picture & it was the start of my senior year in high school. When I went in for this picture, you had a choice of wraps to wear over your shirt so they were all uniform appearing for the year book. I had this one taken, which by the way was the one used for my year book. I also had one taken of me wearing a frothy/ feathery white top (which is at my folk's house) and another one done in frothy/feathery black. Most of my friends also got ones done in pale blue or pale pink, so the photographer incorrectly assumed I would want such colors for myself! Bleh. He brought the pink & blue wraps out with the velvet black one to be used for the year book & asked me which one I'd like or both. I eyed him quite surreptitiously and said these words: "You ARE kidding right?" I laughed at the look on his face & the sputtering noises he made & then he laughed too. He said to me.."wait a minute, aren't you that chick that hangs out with my niece, the one that drives the souped up car with the hair that looks like she just stepped out of some rock video?" I rolled my eyes (I was a teenager at the time,what can I say?) and said "Look, I get pics with my hair all teased up & sprayed in place all the time. This is for my yearbook & for my parents. I don't want to "date" my senior pic like all those wacked out hair-do's from the 70's and to be honest with you, I really didn't feel like spending 45 minutes on my hair. I want something my brothers won't rag on me for, k?"
Of course after I got home that day, I did my hair up like an 80's rock video chick & was getting ready to go out for the night with my friends when my mom came home from work an asked me if I got my yearbook pics done that day. I said "yeah mom, & my hair was the bomb lady! All done up & my make-up was tight!" She just smiled & said "That's nice dear, you're brothers will laugh about it for years to come!"

When I brought the photos home to her a few weeks later, she was more then pleased! Over the moon is a better description for it. And both of my brothers agreed with me: pale pink or pale blue would have been definately blah! Everyone liked the velvet black & the feathery white & black ones. My oldest brother Mike carried one around in his wallet & him & his wife Sherry had one of the feathery black top ones hanging up in their house for years. Rob was impressed & he too carried one around showing it off to his buddies. Of course I still punked my hair out many times during the senior year, but not too long after I graduated, I quit wasting my time doing my hair like that, and to this day, it looks a lot like this picture. It's easy, nice, & shows off my eyes & high cheeckbones (so says my mom). Hey, they're happy & during family dinners, we rag on my brother Mike for his '79 graduation picture with that funky blue suit and Rob's '84 grad pic with the funny wing flip to his hair. But mine, my mom just passes by it & smiles. You can hear her thinking "Thank God she was normal that day."
My 20th reunion is coming up in 2 & a half years. I'm trying to figure out when & where all these years have gone by me without my realization that they were just slipping through my fingertips. It's weird too. My oldest Godson saw my graduation pic while he was flipping through his mom's yearbook & he caught site of one of me tucked into one of the pages, in a typical rock concert moment sitting on the trunk of then boyfriend Phil's mustang, wearing the poured on jeans, hair done out to the nines, strategic holes with laces all over the jeans & a DIO tank top on, smoking a cigarette drinking a bottle of beer before the concert in the parking lot of Lakeland Civic Center. He looked at both, comparing them & says to his mom,"And Taunty D gave me crap for trying a cigarette one day? Look at her! OMG!" His mama snatched that yearbook out of his eager hands & told him to watch it! That his taunty would knock him one if he wasn't careful! When I called over there later that day my godson says to me "Maaaaan Taunty, you wore some TIIIGHT jeans holy crap!" I laughed at him & told him that they cut the oxygen off to my brain & made me smoke." He laughed & laughed over that. He said he couldn't belive his Taunty was one hot chick once. Nice. Real nice. What the hell am I now ya little bugger? LOL. Ah well, we all gotta age sometime right?

Constraint Induced Movement Therapy for Lower Extremeties

2007-01-26T02:59:00.000-12:00

This has got to be the only physical therapy regime that I absolutely hated. Although looking at this getup, this one actually looks comfortable, but then they aren't showing ALL of it here. This machine isn't as intense as the one I used either. The blue "pants/shorts" harness you see the guy wearing a heck of a lot more comfortable than what I got to wear. I had to wear straps that ran up through my groin area and around my upper legs. Then there were clamps that attached to your ankles that were motorized, which set a "gait pattern" for you. Once you are harnessed into it, you are lifted up & weighed like a slab of meat before being lowreed onto the treadmill. The harness strap system cuts into & is extremely uncomfortable. I don't know how guys could stand to be in this thing! The treadmil would start and the ankle gaits would start your legs "walking". It teaches your brain arepetative pattern to hopefully recognize correct walking gaits to retrain your brain to allow you to walk "normally" again. Needless to say, the first time I was hooked up, I was overjoyed if not uncomfortable, but happy nonetheless, to be walking "normally" again. But I never walked "normally" in the first place, not in the therapists ideal anyways. I used to walk fast,one foot in front of the other, as if on a tight rope. That just blew my physical therapist away. She said it wasn't "right". I told her it was right for me though. I think this is one of the reasons why I'm having so many problems with my gait still. My brain is trying to revert back to it's otiginal patterns and yet the left leg is still "squirrelly" as if I'm hitting the sauce on the side. My knee hyper extends & gives out at times as wel.. I wear a knee cage half my day which is better then the original AFO I used to wear. ot the most comfortable thing to wear nor does it go well with most fashion ensembles but then hey, I was never in to Paris haute couture so I'm not worried about it. The only kicker about the knee cage is that when wearing jeans, it tends to cut off some circulation to my toes, so I've got to take a break from it! It's still better than that horrid Gait trainer though! I'd rather walk like a drunken sailor on shore leave then be strung up like a side of beef again. I'll get the whole gait thing worked out & in perspective, I'm not worried about it. The foot drop is preventing me from running or jogging because I'll trip over my foot and the hyperextension is definately screwing up any chances of jumping jacks or even jumping rope. Actually, I tried to jump rope yesterday. I physically can't do it. With or without the brace on. The right side knows how, but the left doesn't. This really sucks. I met a new client this morning in the process of writing this. He suffered a stroke 21 years ago. I watched how he walked & how he had to stretch his fingers EXACTLY like I do. you know what? 20 +years and he's not any better. He told me not to give up hope a few minutes ago. Funny. The more people I meet that have suffered a stroke, the more I find out that many of them are in three categories: better, worse, or the same as myself. Maybe I'm bummed because I've hit a plateau for now. I don't know.

The Toilet Paper Terminator

2007-01-26T02:06:00.000-12:00

Yes, this picture was taken two and a half years ago, but Paulie, my toilet paper terminator, was up to his old tricks this morning around 4 am. I awoke to hear his usual melancholy voicings in the bathtub, which prompted me to see what he was in to. Yup, he had attacked the toilet paper roll but I couldn't find a camera for proof. Come on, it WAS 4am! So I hunted this one up out of my archives. Him and those big eyes of his. I love his goatee and the little tip of white on the end of his tail. He is his daddy's cat through & through. I am "tolerated" for brushings when Jeff isn't around. That's ok. I have four others that follow me around like the Pied Piper of Feline Freedom, so I'm not envious by any means, trust me. I just love to catch this guy in the act of being bad. He's such a love. He snow mouses your feet when you're sound asleep and can trill a lovely tune while staring at himself in the mirror in the bathroom. He'll come to sit next to you on the couch, sometimes resting his front paws heavily on your leg while he dilates his eyes wide open at you, as if to mesmerize you. Other times, he likes to lay against my leg to make his daddy jealous, and it usually works. Especiaaly if he stretches out a paw on me and gives me "The Look" before secretly glancing aat Jeff to see if he's watching. It's a fun game. He is the Toilet Paper Terrorist in our household, what can I say? He was named for a character off the Sopranos, it fits him.

Daydreaming moments

2007-01-25T00:20:00.000-12:00

This is what I saw coming into work ysterday morning. It remided me of a Rob Ross panting. The air was crisp & cool as the sun etched it's way across the sky, slowly changed it's hues from blue through pink to orange. I leaned against my truck in the parking lot at work and just enjoyed the view. It was well worth waiting for, despite the chill. I like to refer to these momenta as my day dreaming moments. Times when I let my mind wander & forage through memories both happy & sad. You'll have to forgive how this picture looks since I took it with my phone & that's not exactly the best format for taking any type of digital image, you're kind of limited in what you can get, so I was surprised it turned out this well!

Fuzzy socks Make the best gifts!

2007-01-24T09:46:00.000-12:00

Seriously now, for me, fuzzy socks are fun as well as give me that sense of the warm fuzzies. I loveto give them as gifts to appreciative friends & family. I know most kids hate them as gifts but not me! I always loved them! I must have tons of socks. I have holiday ones, theme ones, mood ones, dressy, not so dressy, plain, white, colored, striped, you name it! I've got them! I've found another sock afficiando and decided to grace her with a couple of sets of warm fuzzy as well as just plain fun ones! Hey, it's cold in New York right now so I know she's going to appreciate the house socks as well as the going out & keeping warm ones! I'm smart like that. I used to live in the northeast, I can plan ahead. I had to send her some skull & crossbone ones as well. You see, when my young friend drinks, she becomes a fruit thief, like a latina pirate so to speak. Very appropriate in my eyes. Hey, you can never have to many socks you know.

It's Called A Stove

2007-01-24T02:53:00.000-12:00

It's called a stove. You see it in many kitchens across the United States, Canada, other countries as well. When I was 9 years old, I wrote a speech on this modern convenience. I still remember that damn speech, word for word! Benjamin Franklin had a lot to do with it's design you know. It's not hard to use either. I like the new flat top stoves on the matket today. They're easy to clean. I have one that looks just like this in my house, it's why I chose this picture. There are such thing as microwaves too. Another modern marvel. I don't use a microwave as much as most folks do because i feel that it can make food too rubbery or doughy at times. But it's great for heating up water/tea/ etc or reheating certain leftovers. There are also many other kitchen gadgets out there. You know, ones like coffee pots, crock pots, gridles, waffle irons, my all time favorites are slow coocking crock pots (which I use for stews), fondue pots (for cheeses or sauces), dutch ovens for roasts, and there is more.

I swear recipes are not a foreign language and a kitchen is not enemy territory. I love to cook. I miss creating unique dishes filled with robust flavors. I have a flair for the creative & can whip up a 5 star meal with 2 star ingredients. It's a gift. Like my ability to make people smile- or to snarl my name under their breathe because they are agravated with me when I send them a gift & they aren't home to receive it & I won't tell them what's in it. {Please note the evil grin here} But once again, I digress. Cooking should not be looked upon as a chore. It really isn't. It's a chance to enhance one's taste buds & enlarge one's repertoire of olfactory senses. Yeah ok, I like to imbibe when I cook. Just a little. It adds to the pleasure of cooking. {hush, I'm not hitting the sauce as some so indelicately put it. At least I do NOT steal fruit when I imbibe too much like others I shall not name!} If I have not mentioned my preferences before, I like red wine. I like to sip it while cooking as well. There is an art to that, but that is for another time and not here & now.

Now is to reassure others that there should be nothing to fear of a kitchen or it's utensils. That a kitchen is warm & inviting. A neutral place that should be filled with laughter and food. Not with a garbage can of empty take out containers on a constant basis! Now repeat after me: I have nothing to fear from the kitchen. I will actually venture near the stove one of these days.

Doing laundry is not a dirty word

2007-01-24T00:27:00.000-12:00

This is a front end loader. Don't fear it. It won't bite you, I promise. It's not difficult to use either! Modern accoutriments in do-it-yourself laundry makes it easier then ever to seperate, sort, load, wash, & dry your laundry all by yourself! The term Doing your laundry, is not a dirty word, I swear!
Let me give you a brief history of washing machines & the theories behind them. I found this online & am quoting directly here to save time: "For centuries, people on sea voyages washed their clothes by placing the dirty laundry in a strong cloth bag, and tossing it overboard, letting the ship drag the bag for hours. The principle was sound: forcing water through clothes to remove dirt. Catharine Beecher, an early advocate of bringing order and dignity to housework, called laundry "the American housekeeper’s hardest problem". Women from all classes tried to find ways to get relief from doing laundry. Some hired washerwomen and others used commercial laundries. Eventually mechanical aids lightened the load." ( http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/story067.htm )
I grew up in a household with two older brothers. My mother worked and was going to nursing school once I hit about 6 years old. She figured, if you could see the door of the machine, you were big enough to do your own laundry. Graned our washer was not a front loader back then, so she cut me some slack & helped me out, but the theory was still the same. Same with my brothers. Now Rob is a neat freak! He gets it naturally, whereas Mike, eh, we don't refer to him & neatness in the same sentence. I, on the other hand, cannot stand clothes on the floor, and yet I cannot tolerate other people touching my clothes! I'll take my dry-clean only stuff to a dry cleaners, because it needs a professional's touch. I'm not a pro in dry cleaning. But you know what? 25+ years in washing, folding, drying, hanging, etc, my own clothes pretty much qualifies me to handle my own personal items. In my house, you do your own laundry. I don't mind pulling your t-shirts/jeans out of the washer & throwing them in the dryer for you, or even letting you do the same for me. But when it comes to my unmentionables..... back away from the front loaders my friend! I could never take all of my personal items to a laundromat & hand them over to a stranger & say.... "see you tomorrow around 6ish." I just couldn't do it. It would be like abandoning my own dog for too long. It hurts me inside to do so. Nope. Can't do it.
My friends, doing your laundry yourself, is not a dirty word. It's ok, to admit it in public that you can do so. It's also ok to admit that you can't. It's nothing to be ashamed of! I know of some people that prefer not to! Maybe that's a blessing in disguise. They might turn their tighty whities pink from washing a red sock in with them. Who knows. Ok, enough of laundry. Now on to kitchens!

I Want A Pony

2007-01-23T00:14:00.000-12:00

Seriously now, I want a pony. Or a double action pump red ryder bb gun, or better yet an MPK .380 semi automatic... oh wait I have one of those. Ok, how about a Ruger P series 9mm with the blue & stainless finish? But I digress. World peace would be nice but it's just not going to happen anytime soon. My gun locker will be completely filled before world peace is brought to the table & I WILL have a pony damnit! I wouldn't mind having unlimited use of my left side in exchange for a pony though. Ok ok, that is something that MAY come in time as all of my various therapists tell me. Screw them. How about the ability to completely control my breathing? I'm getting better at it though. I used to be a smoker, 20 years worth at about a pack a day averages me out to about oh... 20 pack years. I was always able to control my breathing & quite active in sports/diving/ exercising & I NEVER ran out of breath. Good thing too, because I enjoyed a longer bottom time using nitrox to dive while lobster hunting. But since the stroke, damn. I'm having to regain control over the left side of my lungs. I was on a ventilator while in a coma& then on breathing treatments when I woke up while still in the hospital. WhenI switched to the therapy center, my best friend Jeff came to visit me & sat with me one evening & we had a long discussion in regards to my inability to stay winded. Ok, he mostly talked while I listened, because that's a problem for some stroke survivors, the ability to always remember to inhale. Funny huh? I worked through it and when I got home & back to work, I practiced & used the pulmonary equipment I have here in my office to retrain myself to breathe. Always to breathe. I still forget at times when I get carried away though in a conversation & I run out of breath. Youd think that it would be a somewhat gentle reminder....hey dumbass....you need to take a breath here... you're turning blue in the face. But nope. I breathe too shallow at times which is the problem. Noooo, it's not from secretly hitting the sauce like a certain young friend of mine is fond of informing me. It's because I gotta remind myself at times: deep breath. My chest starts to hurt when I forget. That's usually my first indication that I'm not getting enough air into my lungs & then I get a little raspy & then a small headache from it. I also tend to get a little high pitched & forced towards the end of my sentences. Usually when I'm with my mom or my husband &I start sounding like that, they tell me to "breathe honey, stop & take a breath. you don't have to finish the entire statement right away." Hey, I'm from Connecticut, we talk fast!
I'd trade it all in an instant for.....well...... you know. Nothing like feeling like you can't take care of yourself. It's huniliating at times, to be unable to cut up your own food in restaurants, fix your hair, tie your own shoes, zip up your own jacket. My former mother-in-law has had four strokes since my one. She can walk-ok shuffle & she has complete use of her hands. That witch lost her voice-there is a blessing in that, trust me! But she's gotten uber mean from what I hear. I visited her one time in the hospital & saw my youngest former sister-in-law for the first time since the divorce. My ex MIL is weak, & an enabler. She is still mean although thankfully, she's practically mute. But that witch has full control of her digits. I'm envious of her. Screw it, I want a pony. I promise to walk it & love it & brush it & feed it every day!

Deep breathes my dear, just breathe. Here comes my personal mantra: It gets better, breathe, it gets better, you'll get better, breathe, you'll get it back, think positive you know what? It still sucks, but I digress. :)

San Sebastian Winery

2007-01-22T04:11:00.000-12:00

I love going to the San Sebastian Winery once a year, as if on a sacred a pilgrimage. Granted they are a purveyor of Florida muscadene grapes, which are tangy & sweet, but they have been introducing a hybrid to make a nice dry red. The Castillo Red. Did I happen to mention that I like red wines? California reds, preferably Sonoma or Napa Valley Cabernets are my favorite, but I do like Merlots as well for variety. I don't mind whites as long as they are dry. I can't tolerate a sweet wine. When attending a wine tasting, always drink your wines from dry to sweet. Sweet wines & ports are desert apertifs my friends, remember this. Never Never Never serve me a sweet wine prior to desert Better yet, never serve me a sweet wine & we'll get along just fine. As for Reisling. Bleck. Don't even get me started. But I digress.
The gentleman to the right in the above picture is Ray Brilli. An Astoria, New York native, he moved to Florida about 7 years ago & took up residence here in St. Augustine. He has won the honour of having a piece of his work commemorated on a bottle of wine from this winery twice. I lucked out this past weekend and he was at the winery signing bottles. Fortunately for me, the vino of choice this year was the castillo red, which I happen to like.Did I mention that I like red wines? He did two labels for the above painting, one with a blue mat & one with a red. We chose a blue for him to sign. It nestles nicely in one of our wine racks at home. Granted it is a young wine, a 2003, so I will let it sit for a while before opening it. I will cherish the bottle once the wine is gone because it is a Reserva wine and has won awards. I always enjoy the tours at the winery. They are for the most part self guided & you get to try a little bit of everything they have to offer. One of these weekends I'll be able to go to their jazz nights, as I love azz blues as much as I like red wine. I'm always grooving to some medley of jazz or blues, I enjoy. And we all know that I like red wine by now.

http://www.sansebastianwinery.com/index.html

Sarcasm And Humor 2 services I offer for free

2007-01-22T01:47:00.000-12:00

I was sitting in front of my laptop one day responding to an email when I decided to add a tagline at the bottom of my note. It went something like this:

Two fish in a tank. One fish said to the other fish, you steer & I'll drive.
I don't know why I added it. I just did. I have a dry sense of humor at times and a wickedly sarcastic streak as well. It's a flip of a coin as to which you'll encounter on any given day. To say that I'm only a little sarcastic is to say that water is only a little wet! Go figure. Not everyone appreciates my brand of humor, but then you know what? I really don't care. Now that's a surprise huh? Sarcasm is another genetic trait that runs in our DNA, like brown eyes, brown hair, & quick replies. We can't help ourselves. It just comes naturally.
Humor & sarcasm are just two of the many asinine services that I offer free of charge to anyone, whether they order either of them or not. It's like a 2 for 1 deal you didn't know was coming. When I worked in retail during some of the busiest holiday seasons, I would get some of the dourest humorless shoppers at my cash wrap. I just can't help myself sometimes & let my inner imp get the best of me, and I do it all with a straight face, which just eluded my co-workers! But everyone clamored to work a cash wrap or area with me. It's just one of those quirks in my nature, I amuse people around me. Ok, those who are up on my personality that is. Here is an example of a busy cash register ring up with a nasty customer without a clue:

Customer: I spent the last 30 minutes dumping all the folded sweaters off that display over there looking for one in blue in size XS, do you have any more in back?

Me: No ma'am, everything from that line that you so clearly threw hither dither on the floor was everything we had. My apologies for our store being a failure & not pleasing your tastes.

Customer: So there aren'yt any in back that you could look for me?

Me: Nope but I'd be so ungratefully happy to stop ringing up the lady you stepped in front of to go look in back whenI know for a fact that I brought out every article & personally folded it size label side up to make it easier to look through so you specifically wouldn't dump it all on the floor & make my dept. look like a K-Mart after a blue light special. All said with a smile mind you.

Customer: Oh no, I'll wait till you're done. So you can help me next. I never stop removing the security tags or taking care of the original woman I was helping as I grit my teeth & smile& the same woman continues to ask questions wanting me to find her stuff.

Me: After the first customer is done &I'm helping the rude lady. I really appreciate the mess you've made for nothing that you've wanted & I hope you have a wonderful day. I ring up her purchases & hand her the crap she's bought. Have a nice day & fruck you very much!

Customer: Excuse me? Did you just wish me a good day or say fuck you?

Me: Ma'am, is there something wrong with your purchase? Please have a nice day while I help the next person in line & move your frat asp if you would.

Customer: What What? Did you just say fat ass?
Me: I'm sorry, if there is a problem here, I'll get a manager & security & have you escorted from the store. I won't tolerate language like that used in my presence or the presence of other shopppers!

My co-workers would have to leave the area because they couldn't deal with it. I can keep that tirade up for hours. It's my perogative. It's how I deal with situations or nasty people without losing my job. If you say it fast enough, low enough & with a smile, most people are in such a hurry & in a huff, they don't catch on to it right away. And the others around you, by the time they do, they aren't sure if you have a lisp but they know you're being pleasent & that the rude person is swearing & being beligerent while you're all grins & courtesey. Guess who wins in this situation? Me.

As for my sarcasm? I have it in spades. It rolls off my tongue like water off a ducks back. I have tons of sarcastic replies that I can pull out of my....er um... thin air at a moment's notice that go over like a fart in church & usually stopping my opponent in his tracks. I'm good like that. Like the scorpion said: It's in my nature.

I also tend to like groaners. I seek out corny phrases & use them in tag lines or I'll send whole email notes consisting of them. It amuses me to do so. What did the fish say when he swam in to the concrete wall?

Damn.

See what I mean?

Aaahh sarcasm & humor, 2 services that I offer for free. You may not like either one, and that is supposed to bother me how?

Personal Trainers & a Sense of humor

2007-01-19T01:11:00.000-12:00

I want to share a moment in my average workout routine with my personal trainer. My trainer is a great guy and I am thankful that he has a sense of humor! He needs one with me; that and a thick hide because I have no shame in sending out zingers without a moments hesitation. It's a gift that runs in my family, like brown eyes. It's genetically encoded. Our smart ass humur that is, as well as our brown eyes.

I walk in to his training studio yesterday and Mark turns to me and says: We’re gonna work on abs & ass on the floor today.(We do different sets of exercise every session based on my pain level that day. Ok, I have a high tolerance for pain anyways, & it's always high so what's the big deal you ask? No pain no gain right? That's not it really. We do different things for my own situation, so I can get the most out of what I do with him for better flexibility & hopefully get a better reurn of use of my limbs, but more on that at a later time, I digress here)

I say ok. He goes to get the exercise balls & I set my water bottle & towel down on the floor. He comes back carrying a ball for him & one for me. He says to me:

Dannie, you’ll be happy to know I just washed my balls right before you came in so they would be clean & sterile for you.
I manage to keep my face perfectly blank on that comment, no matter how difficult that may seem to most of you, it is an art that is highly perfected in my family, trust me.
I very dryly answered him: Thanks Mark. I truly appreciate a personal trainer taking hygiene into account for me by sterilizing his balls so I don’t catch anything from them.

Poor Mark. He stood there shaking his head while I lost it laughing at him. He says to me: You know Dannie, I can see where you would not be merciless to some unsuspecting soul.

I pity the fool! (In my best Mr. T. voice)

My only comment before he proceeds to punish me with endless ab crunches & leg extension for the next hour, which by the way causes me to sweat all over his once clean balls! LOL! :)

No Greater Love

2007-01-18T01:09:00.000-12:00

There is no greater love in my house than that which this guy has for me. his name is Kuma and I am his whole world. In his eyes, I am his mommy, his goddess, his judge, his jury, his benefactor, she-who-provides-the goodies, & the EAR WASHER! I have been all of that & more to him and I can do no wrong by him. Accept when it comes to washing his ears. That is the only thing he truly despises. He hates baths too, but he loves the towel down afterwards so it's a game. This "little" guy came into my life probably six months before I decided to file for divorce. He was so cute as a puppy and so tiny, being the runt of the litter! There is absolutely nothing "runtish" about him now! This tick of a dog could eat you out of house & home if you're not careful! He has demolished a couch down to the frame & springs before, trust me on this. But my word is law to him, and he only wishes to please me. I do love him, even when he is smelly and in dire need of a bath! He knows how to worm his way into my heart even when he's in trouble, and he's always made me laugh during some of my darkest moments. He has been my rock after my divorce, going for long walks with me late at night & early in the morning, never complaining of my hours or activities that kept him awake, and happy to lay at my feet while I watched tv or played on the computer into the wee hours of the morning. His name means bear which is what he is. I love to listen to him growl & yip in his sleep while he's chasing after some imaginary fearsome squirrel & watch his paws twitch as he runs them to ground. Upon waking at my slightest touch, he checks to make sure that I'm ok & stretches his body to fully wake himself up before walking over to his food dish to see if there anything new was placed in there since the last time he looked in it. He'll go to the sleeping poodle & nudge her to check the status of her grumpiness to see if she's ready to go outside with him before coming back over to me for a kiss on my hand & a snuffle in my ear as I bend down to hug him. I could not ask for a greater love than this guy gives me, because to look in his eyes, is to see it exposed there for me & all the world to notice, to feel the weight of ot on my shoulders as his eyes follow me around the house as I do my chores. If we go out in the yard together, he checks to make sure there are no rabid squirrels within his parameters that may taunt him to exert his majestic energy or harm his mother! Ok, he just hates the furry rodents & swears that oneof these days he'll catch one!

Parking Perks

2007-01-17T08:53:00.000-12:00

I will admit that the only benefit I have gauned from this stroke, is the handicap parking that it has afforded me. But to be honest with you, before I received the red (and now the blue) placard, I used to see empty crip spots all over the place! Now that I am afforded the "luxury" of parking close to my destination, they are a hot commodity! I am in much demand as well during bad weather and seasonal shopping by my friends and family. Hey, those are the perks! I went to DMV to renew my hang tag from the red temporary to the blue permanent & the lady there told me I could get a crip plate for the back of my car. I told her I didn't want it. That when I trade my rag in, I wanted an Aquaculture one! I really don't want this forever. I long for the day when I don't walk like a drunken sailor coming back from shore leave. The hell with it, just give me use of my left hand so I can get rid of that freaking suicide knob off of my stearing wheel! Until that day that I cn "graduate", I'm just in it for the Parking Perks.

Reservoirs of Memories

2007-01-17T06:19:00.000-12:00

It never ceases to amaze me when I find old friends. We can pick up where we left off or start anew. Either way it works for us. It lightens my heart to find these reservoirs of my memories so to speak. I have the most amazing memory or so I am told, down to some of the finest details. When it suits me that is. And yet, to hear a voice or a turn of a phrase, dredges up long forgotten articles from my past that even I had "forgotten". I thank my friends for helping me tp find that which is gone. I like to speak with friends both old & new. To gain their perspectives on life as they see it. People I have not spoken to in as little as 5 months or as long as 15 years, it titilates me. It allows me to feel refreshed & tired at the same time, like an endless celtic knot that decorates the skin of my mind in myriad colors.

Friday Night Fun

2007-01-17T01:09:00.000-12:00

When I was in my early teens, the thing to do on a Friday night in Connecticut was to go to the Milford rollerskating rink. A group pf my closest friends would plan all week what we would wear, how we would do our hair, and what songs we would request. Our boyfriends would never go with us (for those that had one) because it was our night to be together & have fun. There was Mary, myself, Laureen, Kathy, and sometimes Maria would all take turns getting our mothers to drop us off or pick us up when the night was over. If it was my mom's turn, the four or five of us would cram in to the back of my mom's escort with the seats folded down and off we would go! All of us giggling and comparing lip gloss or eyeliners. Remember this was the early 80's, so colored eyeshadow (depending on the color of your outfit) & black or electric blue eyeliner was all the rage. I swear you could look like a ragged out drag queen & be in style then! Narrow cut tapered leg jeans with a pair of slouch socks that matched the color of your shirt & a big belt completed your outfit. And don't forget the hair! OMG, my folks should have bought stock in AquaNet because from 13-18, I used that stuff like it was the best creation of super styling glop known to mankind! But that's a story best left for another day.
I loved going rollersating every Friday night. The best were the All-Night Skates when you were there from 8pm till 7am but man were you tired! LOL! There were lockers where you could store your purse & sneakers for the evening so you wouldn't lose them or get them stolen & as a group we'd all share one locker & it only cost a quarter at the time to rent one. We all had our own sets of skates because to rent them was LAME-O! We'd get out on the floor in a group giggling & checking out the fellow skaters to see who was cute. Maria would always fall, Mary & I were pretty good (well, what can I say for 3 years of ice skating lessons when I was little?), Laureen was afraid of getting hurt & Kathy, well she was up for whatever Mary & I were into at the time. You had fun on those Friday nights as a young teen going to the skating rink. There was the loud music of the most current hits & love songs, the snacks & sodas, the lights, & the laughter. I met my friend Adam there. He was so good at skating! Whenever they had couples skate he would take turns taking either Mary or myself or even Laureeen out on the floor to skate. Laureen had the biggest crush on him!For my whole eigth grade year, nearly every Friday was spent at that rink, it was so much fun. When I moved to Florida, there was a rink not to far from my house but it wasn't the same for me down here. A lot of the kids went, but after going one time, I never went again. It just wasn't the same. I guess coming from up north, intellectually I was seeminingly "older" then my age group here in Florida at the time. I hung with a crown older then I was, which was funny because while my Connecticut friends were in 9th grade in the high school, I was in 9th grade at a Jr. High here for half the day & half the day in the high school. Most of my friends were 2-3 years oldre then me here & none of them wanted to go to the rollerskating rink, so those days passed into nostalgia quite quickly. My northern friends said that halfway into their school years, it too changed for them & they no longer went to the rink up there. Times change I guess. I was in my 20's & took my young cousins to the local rink for their bday party one time. I put on a pair of rented rollerskates (how lame is that? LOL) and got out there with them & they were so amazed that their aunt was so cool! While out on the floor the dj was playing an 80's (Billy Squire's In The Dark) tune that brought me back nearly 12 years at the time to when it was Mary & I and Adam was skating backwards talking to us. Come the end of that afternoon party I was so tired even in my 20's!When did I grow up? Where did my youth go & my energy for the all night skates?

6 Things About Me

2007-01-05T04:51:00.000-12:00

Thanks to Mia, I felt it necessary to do this "6 Things About Me" post.

1. I like colorful socks. I used to color coordinate my socks to my outfits or wear really blazing vibrant ones, depending on my mood. Being a product of the 80's, I used to wear 2 pairs of socks at a time-this way I'd have one white pair or one color matched to my outfit & then a really funky pair! So miss Mia & I have this in common. We ever meet up & we're going shopping for socks!

2. I have an affinity with animals. All sorts, but my favorites are cats & dogs. I don't know what it is about me, but animals consider me a friend. My mother says it's because when I was a baby, she mixed up the puppy formula & my formula on seversl occassions. The minute someone says that their so & so doesn't like strangers, I find "so & so" leaning against my side or purring in my arms. Go figure.

3. I love to ride horses. I can ride English, Western, Side, Barrel race, & more. To me a long day in the saddle is an awesome & soothing day. I love my sister-in-laws foul-tempered mare who doesn't like anybody but my sister-in-law. See previous post- this horse tolerates me & whickers to me. She never bites/nips my fingers either. Go figure.

4. I have a black belt in several styles of karate. Since I was the age of 10, I had taken lessons & used to do competiton fights & katas. I have several trophies-all bigger then me-that I left with my first instructor when I moved to Florida. My mother was banned from going to competitions when she nealy tore some guy's head off for "punching her baby". I love kickboxing as a form of excercise & really miss having the balance to do it.

5.I have a form of OCD. I vaccuum carpets in two directions to make sure it's done completely. I collect sets of movies as well. I fold my shirts in retail folds & my closet is hung in color coordinations by style, use, & sizes.

6. I love to write, but since the stroke, I cannot sit in one position for two long or my legs cramp & pain me. My attention span is somewhat limited because of the stroke so I can't "do" any one thing for too long of a time without losing interest. Hence /I have TONS of things that I've started to write, & have left unfinished . I mean to get back to them but not right now! LOL.

Finally Away From It

2006-11-10T02:52:00.000-12:00

This is what my life had come down to. This one simple brace. If I wanted to walk- I had to wear it. No brace, no walking. Literally. But you know what? I'd spend another 12months in it no complaints if I could have complete use of my left hand right now. That's not to say that I walk nicely as it is. I use to be able to haul ass across a crowded airport threading my way through the crowd nimbly & narrowly avoiding collissions left & right. Now I usually cause the collisions or fall flat on my face or back. Oh well, life happens. To get out of the wheelchair, I had to get the leg stronger & get it supported. It amazed me how quickly & easily the muscles started to atrophy in that part of the leg. The brain bleed damaged cells that controled the muscles on the left side of my body. I went from being so physically able & strong to so weak & useless. My accomplishment was getting out of that wheelchair though. I was so happy. I was happy to give away my cane as ewll. Even though I should still be using one at times- I really don't. The AFO brace was so uncomfortable. Even though it was custom fit, it rubbed my skin raw in so many spots and made my ankly and toes ache uncomfortably. Even though I must have put mole skin on it & on my leg in all those spots, it still hurt greatly. I spent this past year working to get myself out of this AFO (Ankle Foot Orthotic) and now it sits in my bedroom starting to collect dust! I still have days where I should be in it, but I don't want to. It's too uncomfortable now. I'd actually rather trip & fall & pick myself back up then subject myself to the uncomfortableness of it's support. The only thing it does for me is prevent the drop foor from occurring. Other than that it just wears my ankle out & ribs it raw. It can't be adjusted anymore than itis-it' has had all the adjustents & modifications that it can take unfortunately. Given the choice though- I would trade another 12 months in it to have complete use of my hand back. That pain is a small price to pay for that. But now, I can say that I am finally away from the AFO. I won't go back to it agai. I wear a support knee brace for now to prevent hyperextending as necessary. The knee cage does nothing for the foot drop so I still take a tumble here & there. And when people see me do it & want to help me back up, I shoo their hands away graciously & just tell them:"no no no, I'm practicing my tumbling routine for the next olympics-no worries."

My Sweet Baby Girl

2006-10-16T05:27:00.000-12:00

My sweet baby girl
She's my sweet baby girl. It's hard for me to believe that she's been my companion for almost fifteen years. In dog years that is the equivalent of 98 years of age! She's in good health for such an old dog, ok maybe she is getting a little hard of hearing and her breath does leave a lot to be desired, but so what. She's my best friend. She's been through so much with me over these past years. Failed relationships, a failed marriage, a couple of brain tumors, step kids, so many moves, different jobs, different interests, but always there was us together. She would travel with me every where!

As she aged and got a little cranky I would leave her at home to ease her tired bones & to be gentle on her arthritis and yet she is always there to greet me at the door! A bark and a smile and a nudge of that long poodle nose to let me know she was happy I was home. We'd snuggle up in the sun together out in the yard or stretch out on the floor sharing a pillow while watching tv. Her paw stretched out over my arm and her tail thumping her contentment. When we lost Buster, her companion cocker spaniel I know she was sad because she would look for him all over the house and spent days going to sleep with his favorite toy next to her. They'd been together since the day she was born. Buster was there with me at the grooming shop where I worked watching Kini come into this world. When I brought her home he watched over her like a vigilant & ernest father. They would travel to grooming competitions & dog shows with me. Buster moved on to where all my beloved pets go but Kini had Wahoo to console her at least. He would play with her & cuddle with her on the days he didn't go to work with my ex-husband. She watched Wahoo grow up & eventually move out when my ex & I split. By then Kuma was in our lives and he worships the ground she prances her dainty feet upon. Kini loves children, even as she ages, she continues to favor babies through pre-teens. I really don't know why other than the fact that she can wheedle food out of them faster than you can say what ham sandwhich?

Childhood Friends & Neighborhoods

2006-08-14T02:44:00.000-12:00

Where I was born & grew up was seemingly an amazing place. At least to me it was. I have gotten in contact with kids from my old neighborhood and most of us agree that it was a really idyllic place to have been a kid in th 70's & 80's. To me Connecticut was great. My house sat on over an acre & a half of property, I had a big inground pool and a lot of the neighborhood kids would be over every hot day swimming all day long. We'd build forts in the small patch of woods across the street (which are still there by the way because it's too hilly & rocky to build a house on thankfully!) that has a small brook running through it. There were trails all through the trees to each others houses we used as shortcuts to get home before dusk as the streetlights were coming on. Our front yards were used to play tag or kickball, we'd play red light/green light & Mother May I in the street because few cars zinged by at harrowing speeds since everyone had a younger sibling or child out their playing and knew to watch for them! The tinkling toll of the ice cream man & the resultant exuberant cries of the kids yelling for change from their parents could be heard throughought the encircling streets. We'd all trek up to the Jonses' chrismas tree farm or ride over to the Bronson country to go sledding during the winter and build snow forts in our back yards or on either side of the streets epending on which way the plows pushed the snow for endless rounds of snowball fights. We all rode the bus to school so we'd stand together at the corner waiting for it to arrive & if it was raining, the neighbor would open their garage door so we could wait out of the rain for the bus without fear of being snatched into some stranger's house. Everyone knew everybody and you waved to everyone sitting on the stoop of their homes as you rode your bike to your friend's house for a game of kick-the can or to spend the day scavenging through the woods playing manhunt. At dusk everyone would catch fireflies or through acorns up in the air to watch the bats swoop down towards them. Come the fall kids would spend hours over at their friends houses raking up leaves& jumping into the piles & throwing nature's colorful confetti into the air until you heard your arent's call for you to come in for dinner. You played outside all day or in cool basements on hot days. But you played! None of this couch potato stuff. Halloween in CT is like a right of passage! EVEERYONE would get into it in our neighborhood and kids looked forward to that special night as soon as the calender showed October 1st. Immense planning went into the originality of homemade costumes as well as warmth. Remember, CT could be a little chilly sometimes during late October evenings. It would get dark early up there as well. Unless it was the summer months, it was usually dark come 6:30/7pm at night. So kids were inside and dinner was being cleaned up, homework was being completed, and kids were actually unwinding from the day and getting ready for bed or for quiet time or were just plain exhausted from being outside all day! Spring cleaning was a family event. Mom would air out & clean the house & the kids would help dad with the yard whether we wanted to or not! None of this whining about not wanting to do it, you did as you were told! If you wanted to use the pool come the summer, then you helped with everything to get ready for the summer, same thing with the fall prep for the winter! Nobody got out of chores! The lawn was mowed every week, grass clippings were raked up & bagged and the pool was skimmed and the filter was "bumped" (you had to be there to appreciate getting stuck with that chore), we didn't have a pool service come & do it for us! The dogs were brushed to help keep the hair to a minimum in the house, atorm windows taken down, screens put up and everything reversed come the fall! Mom & I would go strawberry or blueberry picking and you'd come home with your fingers stained red or blue but you had fun and you always looked forward to going becuse you could snack as you went along! Most of the original families have moved out of my old neighborhood, there are one or two parents (now grandpaernts!) still left there and even some of my oldchild hood friends are still there, having inherited the house that their parents owned, but so much of my old town has changed. Many of the rolling pasture fields are gone, bulldozed under to make way for new communities with zero lot lines but my old house is still there. It's just a different color now. A tree we planted towers over many others in the yard, and the graves of my beloved childhood pets are still intact, having been spared being dug up since they were buried near trees in the backyard. I look at satellite photos of my old hometown & wax nostalgic about it. FLorida is nice but I really miss CT. It's so expensive up there now though that it would be hard to go back, but maybe one day. I always have my memories though.

A New Use for Blowers

2006-07-22T02:13:00.000-12:00

I honestly did not believe my husband when he told me about this. I told him to take a picture of it as proof! This is not photoshopped, unfortunately it s real and this is my neighbor! At the time I was in a physical therapy center recuperating from a recent stroke & not ready to come home yet. A low force hurrican had just sweptthrough our area & my husband was on the phone telling me that a nighbor's tree (One belonging to the guy in this picture as a matter of fact) had fallen on our fence when we could both hear the purring of a blower. He went to the window and said "you won't believe it. He's on his roof drying it with a leaf blower!" This is the same guy who has one of these that sucks up stray leaves & grass clippings and his lawn is mown in uniform rows. Yes, this man has Obsessive Compulsive Disorde to the extreme! He's a good guy just somewhat straightlaced...ok he's weird. I mean come on, He's on his rooftop blow drying it & getting all the stray bits of flotsom & jetsom off it! How strange is that? He wasn't looking for holes, he was getting the debris off of the roof! Ya gotta love the quirkiness of neighbors sometimes, they just add to the neighborhhod. At least he didn' paint his house bright melon orange with white trim and then get ticked about it & spray paint the whole thing including windows canary yellow like another neighbor did!

If Hubby was a big cat

2006-07-18T04:24:00.000-12:00

If my husband was a big cat, which one would he be? He has the colorations of a lion, tawny fur and everything. I think he fits well in this mode of life and if he shapeshifted, he would look divine. Actually, we were at Epcot when we did this. You had the opportunity to morph yourself into either a big cat or a monkey so we chose the big cat. Then you could email it to yourself! Way cool! I don't think he realizes that I actualy received this email last year and kept it all this time. Oops. I think he looks cute though. I should print it out & hang it in my office. Notice there isn't a matching one of me? Go figure! I wasn't brave enough to do one of myself-or rather silly enough! LOL

I still like this look for him. Puuuuuuuur.

I miss Diving

2006-06-13T08:22:00.000-12:00

Among some of my most favorite pasttimes, diving ranks right up there in the top 5. It's something I've been doing since I was 16 years old. One of the first dives I ventured on after I certified was the Christ in the Abyss in the John Pennekamp National Coral Reef Underwater Preserve off of Key Largo. This thing sits in about 25 to 30 feet of water and is pictured in all of the Keys brochures. It weighs about 4,000 lbs. and is made of bronze, standing about 8 1/2 feet in height. There are actually 4 of these statues around the world, 3 of which are under water and one is on land. The very very first one is off the coast of Genoa, Italy & sits in about 80 ft of water. Professor Guido Galletti cast the original from the inspiration of Italian swimmer/diver Duilo Merchant who wanted a symbol to inspire all who explored and loved the sea in 1954. In 1961, the second casting from the original Galletti mold was placed in St. George's Harbor in Grenada to commemorate those saved from the Italian ship Bianca C. which caught fire and sank in the harbor. The third casting was commissioned by Italian dive equipment manufacturer, Egidio Cressi, and donated to The Underwater Society of America. For Keys visitors, the St. Justins Martyr Catholic Church provided a way for non-diving people to see the statue. They commissioned Ido Demetz of Italy to make a bronze replica which was set in place in 1991. It is located in front of the main sanctuary on US 1 at mile marker 105.5. As for our statue here in the states, it sees many visitors throughout the year and has been the site of many an underwater wedding ceremony!
I personally just miss a lazy day spent under water slowly circling this beatiful statue and seeing how the light plays over it from all angles. I miss watching tiny fishes dart hother and yon across it's base in search of food while eluding larger predators lest they become prey themselves. I know that many people dive who have physical limitations of many forms, but for me, I want use of all my senses as well as to be able to grasp my equipment in my hand for myself. If I can't put my hair up in a ponytail on my own, I don't see how I'll be able to hold tangled monofilament line in one hand while cutting it off from a turtles' leg do you without hurting myself or the turtle, do you?

Dashboard Follies

2006-06-08T02:22:00.000-12:00

I work next door to my dental hygenist. And she really is a good egg. For the last few years, we've always played jokes on each other. So this time, I actually printed this spedometer out photo paper & had her husband unlock her car for me yesterday after he ame to visit her & have his teeth cleaned. I, being the evil person that I am, taped this picture over her regular spedometer and waited to see how ong it would take her notice it being on there. By the way, she is blonde. So lunch time came & she went out to her car & we all casually watched through the blinds covering the sliding glass door while sitting around our conference table. She slings her purse into the passenger seat, inserts the key into the transmission, starts her car while jabbering away on her cell phone. She hangs up her cell phone, backs the car out of her parking spot & proceeds towards the lot exit when we all see her brake lights come on. Then the reverse lights come on & her car zooms backwards & comes tp rest alongside of our backdoorway. We can all see her sitting in the car looking at her dashboard & then glancing up towards us as she mouths what seems to be some pretty foul four letter words!
Wow, and she kisses her mother with that mouth?