Furry slippers with teeth

My parents own two small dogs, shih-tzus to be exact. I call them furry slippers with teeth. Growing up in Connecticut my parents had big dogs, Alaskan Malamutes that were strong & determined & beautiful. Here in Florida, nearly 21 years after leaving New England, they have...these...bathroom carpets that yodel & yip in high pitched excitement whenever the phone rings or my mother or myself comes through the front door. I don't even like small dogs so I don't understand why they sing for me! My mom, yes, me-why? My parents dogs Taz & Sheeza do NOT look anything like this picture nor do they conform to the AKC breed standsrd. Sheeza, yeah you can tell she's one of these furry feet chewers, but Taz, he looks like a Lhasa Apso more than a Shih-tzu. A brief history of the Shit Tzu: The Shih Tzu, or "lion" dog, probably originated from matings between Tibetan Lhasa Apso dogs brought to China during the 17th century and native Pekingese dogs. The Shih Tzu became a favorite of the Imperial Chinese court. The breed was so revered that for many years after the Chinese began trading with the West, they refused to sell, or even give away, any of the little dogs. It was not until 1930 that the first pair was imported to England. The Shih Tzu was recognized in Britain in 1946 and by the AKC in the United States in 1969. Today the breed is very popular, both as a companion and as a glamorous show dog. Yeah, um, uh-huh. What do MY parents get? ok let me correct that, what does my DAD get? Who the hell knows. As far as I'm concerned, they are mini devils in disguise! I kid you not. Let me give you some more facts on this "engaging" breed. Personality:Assertive and engaging. Arrogant and proud. Alert and spunky. Very loyal. Friendly. Likes his comforts. Playful and lively. Needs to be with people. Can be willful, but will respond to training. Can be snappish if surprised or peeved. Behavior:Children: Best with older, considerate children. Friendliness: Fairly friendly with strangers.Trainability: Slightly difficult to train.Independence: Moderately dependent on people.Dominance: High.Other Pets: Generally good with other pets.Combativeness: Friendly with other dogs.Noise: Likes to bark. Taz, hates my dog Kuma but he LOVES my standard poodle Kini, go figure. He so hated the other dog my dad brought home that they had to place the Sheltie with another family for fear of blood shed! Yet, Taz likes my sister-in-laws sheperds, to a point. Weird little dog. He gets snappy with my mom about his feet but when he tries that with me, I give him "THE LOOK" and he knows better. There will only be one winner in that contest of wills, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be some little freaked out dog. Likes to bark? Is that what you call what they do? Hell no! I say it's ear splitting yodeling! Whenever any phone rings in their house, the dogs start up a rendition of "oh my god the roof is caving in" in their highest octave possible. I think it's because my dad is partially deaf. but if you're the one on the other end of the line when someone picks up, you think that the damn animals are being skinned alive! I walk through the door and make it through the six choruses of hallelulah in woof woof bark bark, my fingers get chewed on by Sheeza. It's a ritual. They come careening around the corner all pell mell & realize it's me & these little teeth come out & start nibbling in my fingers, looking for attention. Furry slippers with teeth. I could punt them into next week with my bad leg, but I wouldn't. They love my parents & I guess that's all that matters. Now me, I own something the size of a small couch with teeth, not slippers!