Kuma's Place
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Location: Florida, United States

A stroke survivor living in Florida & working at getting back to being "me". I write for me because if I don't, the top of my head may just blow off from all the pressure in the there! It will never win any awards but it's enough to amuse me & that's all that matters.

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Well Hell, it's been a while.

It has been quite a while since I posted anything. Two years & a month to be exact. Life has had me busy. So much has gone on that I am not sure where to start to catch it all back up! But it's cathartic to be here again so maybe, just maybe, I'll be back. For a while at least.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Today's Political Call Update

Today's update on the political calls. You'd think they'd have learned to use ONLY the robo dialer here, but noooooooo. If you've donated to the RNC, you get the "privilege" of a "live" phone call from the Wasington headquarters. I found out my hubby has donated in the past. Yup- I nipped THAT in the bud. ahem, today's call ( I just can't make this up)Ring Ring ( I saw the same # on the caller ID & GLEEFULLY answered it)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Good Afternoon, this is Jody with the Republican National Committee in Washington DC. May I please speak with Jeffrey E. Millner or Mrs. Millner please? ( I see she's been warned about me? huh).
Me: Hello Jody with the RNC, why?Caller: Is this Mrs. Millner?Me: No it's not.
Caller: Oh, is Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner there?
Me: No they are not, is there something I can't help you with?Caller: (pause of silence)Uhhm... Me: Um is not a word my dear, try for something more articulate please.
Caller: Uhm...(in a whisper) oh dear god it's her! (I KID YOU NOT!)
Me: And I repeat, uhm is not a word.
Caller: My I please speak with a registered vote living at that address?
Me: Oh sure you may my dear. (and I wait....silently for hr to say anything at all.)
Caller: oh, cool........
Me: Would you like to speak with me now or by the time the votes are cast in November?
Caller: uhm, uhm....
Me: Dear, keep up or take notes. You're Jody calling from the RNC in Washington DC & you would like to speak with a registered voter living at this address.
Caller: oh oh, yes! Is Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner there please?
Me: No they aren't may I take a message?
Caller: well, uhm, if they aren't there & I am talking to a registered voter at this address, then who are you?
Me: Sweetheart, YOU called MY house, so you tell me WHO are you looking for?
Caller: (I can hear the sob in her throat at this point) Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner please? (she ended that in a near whisper! God I am so loving this at this point).
Me: Well I'm sorry, but Jeff is at work and Mrs. Millner is registered to vote under her home address not ours... at least she'd better be!
Caller: But, But, but....
Me: You're repeating yourself my dear.
Caller: If you are a registered voter at that address aren't you Mrs. Millner?
Me: Nope. That's my husband's mother. Now is there something I can help you with?
Caller: Can we talk? (and I hear in the background...DON'T say that to HER!)
Me: Obviously there is an echo on this line because Jody, I swear I hear extra verbiage breaking in on this line. And no you may not speak with me. You did not call here asking for me, you asked for Jeff or Mrs. Millner. Sorry, you lose. Have a nice day. Shall we try again in another day or so?

I am a registered voter, at this address in fact. But she kept asking for Jeffrey or Mrs. Millner. My name legally is not Millner. It's Spivey-Millner. So in all fairness, she wasn't asking for me.. but my mother-in-law. Hey, She doesn't live here. So I wasn't lying in my response of they weren't there & no, you can't talk to me because you didn't ask for me. It's semantics, but it's fun.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ring Ring- Hello?

That was me yesterday when our home phone rang at 3:30 pm. I was working from home and usually I tend to ignore the home phone during "working hours" and let the machine pick up (hey, if I WAS at an office-I wouldn't be there to pick it up rightBut I decided to answer it out of curiosity. So here is the conversation as it occurs yesterday:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi, is Jeffrey Millner there? (first sign this is a political call-they ask for the full name of the registered person)
Me: No, he's not.
Caller: Oh, then may I speak to Jeff Millner please?(second sign I'm dealing with an idiot)
Me: Nope. You can't.
Caller: Are you sure I can't speak with Jeffrey Millner?
Me: Well it depends.
Caller: Depends on what Ma'am (third mistake-the dufus just called ME ma'am)
Me: On who this is, why you want to talk to him & if I can dig him out of the backyard fast enough for you to talk to him in time before he suffocates.
Caller: So he's busy right now? (really? are you kidding me here?)
Me: Yup, I'd say he's busy.
Caller: Well then, can I talk to you? Me:Depends. Caller: Depends on what ma'am?
Me: Depends on how long you can keep asking me this.
Caller: So you'll talk to me?
Me: Nope.
Caller: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm calling from the Republican National committee & I'm looking to speak with Jeffrey Millner.
Me: Really?
Caller: Yes Ma'am I am. Can I talk to him? (you get the feeling I'm not dealing with someone who's elevator goes to the top floor?)
Me:I don't know, can you?
Caller: Um, ok ... MAY I talk with Jeffrey Millner ma'am?
Me: Nope. (this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better then work, I really need to answer the home phone more during the day!)
Caller: pretty please?
Me: Nope. He's at work.
Caller: You just said he was out in the back yard.
Me: And I also implied that I buried him & he was suffocating & that went right over your head so sarcasm is obviously NOT one of your finer points so I'm opting for honesty since you'll probably not believe that either.
Caller: So he's not there? Me: Nope. Caller: So can I talk to you then?
Me: Nope.
Caller: Why not ma'am? Me: Because you didn't say the magic words. Caller: But I did say pretty please.
Me: Not for me you didn't, for Jeff you did.
Caller: May I plese speak with you then ma'am? Me: Nope. Caller:( at this point he is nearly in tears) ok, I said the magic words, I'm calling from the Republican National committee & would like to speak with Jeffrey Millner or you about how you're going to vote in this upcoming election.
Me: Son, did you say that all in one breath?
Caller: Yes ma'am I did. Can we talk?
Me: I don't know Joan Rivers, can we?
Caller: I'm not Joan Rivers!
Me: Look young man, there is no reason for you to take that tone with me and raise your voice at me for no good reason when I politely took your call today.
Caller: (sigh) I'm sorry ma'am. May I please.....
Me: Nope. You can't. Do you even know my name? Caller: I called Jeffrey... Me: Yes, you called Jeffrey, you didn't call ME. My name isn't Jeffrey so why should I talk to you?
Caller: Thank you for your time ma'am.

You know, the youth of today are so impatient & rude. I can keep this up for hours


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Hotel deadbolts are NOT just for asthetics!

I am more then halfway through my study close outs at 10 sites. Sigh. As of today I'm in Florida. until tomorrow then next it's Rhode Island & South Carolina and then I'm DONE!! Traveling for a little while at least. LOL. So I had the most fun today. Traveling for me is an interesting experience to say the least. Never a dull moment by any means. Although I went to two new airports today (Philadelphia & State College) I did nnot fall in either! woooohoooooooooo! Oh no, an even better experience awaited me at my hotel! Read on & see! By the way people, hotel room deadbolts are NOT just for looks! USE THEM!
Now, I have seen this happen once recently & have heard of it a bunch of times but have never had it happen to me. Till now.
Last week I was in Pennsylvania going to two sites and I checked in to my hotel Monday and looked forward to throwing my stuff in the room & going across the street to grab a bite to eat. I lug my bag & computer case down the hall, balancing my cup of coffee in my hand while pulling the bags. I fumble with the key card & get it to open the door. I start to walk in the room and think nothing of the cold room (sometimes housekeeping does that) and ignore the LOUD TV thinking it’s coming from next door. I walk in to find two VERY surprised people in a manner that is worthy of any adult movie store poster.

What would you have done or said at this point? "Excuse me folks?" or "oops my bad" or "I’m sorry" or blushed? Then you aren’t me are you?

I proceed to drop my coffee, mumble a slight profanity ( I had that cup fixed up just perfect too!) & the only thing I can say to these people: Have you ever heard of using the deadbolts & safety latch people? I get back down to the front desk & the guy won’t even look at me without cringing. I say to him: I take it room 223 just called down here ahead of me huh? He is beat red & hands me a new key. I ask him : no surprises in this one ok? I’m going to try & get a new cup of coffee. I left my other one in their room. You realize this happened because my flights went too well to get up here. Only a 9 minute delay in my originating city. That’s a new record for me! Happy Monday!

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008


You are sitting in the doctor's office. Imagine the sound of cheesy porno music while you are getting ready to watch a video on vasectomies. Yes, cringe factor abounds huh? A couple of months ago I had the chance to experience just such an.....enlightening experience. Sigh. We watched this horridly scripted mini movie on the pros & cons of male vasectomy. I watched my husband out of the corner of my eye as we purveyed this video. OH MY GOD! I have never seen a person squirm so much before! LOL!

Final decision at the end of this visit : guess I'm getting an IUD. LOL. And you know what? We saw his doctor for all of 7 minutes. And our insurance company is STILL getting charged major bucks for us watching a freaking movie! And I didn't even get a box of junior mints or popcorn to enjoy wit this. Sigh.


Because the other one was the ROUGH DRAFT

How the hell should I know which one was the rough draft? Especially since the first one I received (TWICE) was titled: Final draft. ah-hem..... freaking concussed elfin nuyouuriiiiiiicans. LOL. Oh god, I'm i n trouble now huh? shit.
OH look! there goes Elvis! oooooooooooooh, look at the pretty lights! ummmmmm, enjoy THIS picture! It now graces my laptop desktop. Sigh. Big smile!

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Monday, December 31, 2007

I Am Honored!

Mia has the most amazing mom. Her mom is quite a gifted artist and I have always admired her work that Mia sends to me. I became quite enraptured of something her mom did as a surprise for Mia for Christmas & used it as a desktop background for my laptop because I was that entranced by it! Maggie created something for me that I can use on my laptop. I absolutely love it! I am so honored that she did this for me! I sent it to hubby so he could print it out for me on photo paper so that I could hang it above my desk in the new home office when I start my new job next week!


Thursday, December 27, 2007

What do you do when it hurts so much to let go?

She is the love of my young adult life. The last vestige of a past I have treasured for the most part. A reminder, a link, a part of my soul. A big piece of my life goes with her when she is gone. I can't believe that Iwrote THIS a year ago when I was absolutely terrified I was losing her because she'd fallen into the pool at my mom's house & ended up having another stroke. It took her almost a week to kick back into her original frame of mind, and it was a rough go that whole week for me when I had debated to take her to the vet one final time. She stayed with me a whole year and 2 months more after that fateful day! I've loved them all as my own children. Each with their own personalities & behaviors. Each leaving an indelible stamp on my heart. For every "child" I raised & loved & watched pass on & leave me behind, I think this one hurts the most by far. My daughter. My companion. My best friend. My savior. My soul. I love you. I will always remember you my sweet Kini. Thank you for staying with me for so long, much longer then you should have. I am grateful for it and for you having been in my life. Be free of pain, free of the mortal coils of this life. Romp, run, play. I'll see again my precious poodle.
Beach Baby's Black Bikini Ardynis. RIP