Mr. Clean is in da house!

I don't know what I would do without this guy in my life. He's my other best male friend. Scottie T, aka Big Scottie, Mr. Clean, Scottie the Closer. I met him when I started working at Home Depot back in 99. I was assigned to the paint department and I was stacking 5 gallon buckets as I watched a huge door with legs go walking by me. Literally. After the door was deposited off at the service counter, this guy comes walking back through my department & stops to introduce himself. He says "hi, my name is Scottie & I'm closing Building Materials tonight. The Assistant Manager said you don't have your reach truck license yet so if you need anything brought don fro the overheads, let me know." I was rooted in my place. Here was this dude that carried a fucking double door, under ONE arm, and he looked exactly like the guy off the Mr. Clean bottle. I nearly wet myself laughing at the incongruity of it all. Scott & I became fast friends after that night. His department lead, Big Tony was a mountain of a guy (rest his soul, Tony passed away a few years ago at the age of 36), who's hand was bigger than my entire head. I loved these two guys like brothers. They took care of me on the nights we were closing the store & made sure that all the drunk assholes that were drawn to paint like moths to a fucking light source left me the hell alone. A typical Friday night in our old store went like this: Me(at 5'3" tall) faced off with 2 belligerent drunk construction workers who came in through the front doors (paint was by the main entrance) and wanted "their shit for a morning job"-all 20 fucking gallons of it but they couldn't remember what color was needed & me, being the paint goddess I was-should have been able to divine their fucking wishes via their booze addled brains. yeah right. I actually had one start poking me in the shoulder wanting his "fucking supplies Little Missy-the boss man ordered it earlier today!" (yeah from Lowe's you knuckle-dragging neanderthal!). Scottie & Tony happened to be carrying up orders from receiving at this point & watched all this unfold. As far as Scottie was concerned, the sun shined out of my ass I would babysit his girls at a moment's notice so he & his wife could go out to dinner on occasion & Tony thought I made the best martini's this far south of NYC when I was bar tending so in effect: I CAN DO NO WRONG! Besides, the last thing anyone wanted to do at that store was piss of the safety captain (me) because it would mean I would shake hell in their department before the end of their shift! Scottie stood behind me as Tony stepped up to the drunken slugs pretending to be humans & politely informed them that they were leaving the store. NOW. Those two buffoons started laughing & teasing me saying I had to get my "boys" to protect me. Scottie said "nope-we're here to prevent her from killing you shit heads & us having to clean up the bloody mess when she decides to rip you limb from limb." I loved working with those guys on the evening shifts & over night pack downs.It always amused me. Poor Scottie. He has the most beautiful of two little girls who I enjoy being around every chance I get. His (now) ex-wife is a T-Rex bitch and moved to Long Island & took the two angels with her. Scottie is still here in Florida, working two full-time jobs to take care of his girls. I get to see them when they visit & he flies up there all the time. We've always confided in each other since the beginning & have a great understanding between us. He was there for me during my divorce & offered to hide a body a time or two for me and I likewise for him. He used to tease me about my roommate Jon & we'd go bowling on Sunday nights with a few friends to blow off some steam & have a couple of beers-me trying not to beat Sandy's skull in with my 14lb ball & him pitching his 20 pound ball down the lane at approximately 24 mph! nice Scott, really nice there dude-try keeping it in OUR lane next time huh? Sometimes, you just need a friend like that. Besides, Capricorns & Sanitarians make really great lifelong friends. Now I need to find him a decent girl to date. So far I have not approved of any of the ones that he's gone out with lately. need I repeat this? eeeeeeeeeeeeew Scottie, you can dry hump her all you want but dear God don't let her know where you live! Bleck!