Thursday Mid-Day Rant

It's Thursday people. Come on.Did you have to jump up & bite me in the ass all of a sudden? I could have gone just one day without being even slightly aggravated by anything, Nope. Not a chance. I've got stuff I'm trying to work on to appease the Gimme Gods & because it's a really interesting topic & I 'd like to see an article published with my tag line under it. Heh-would be nice-it's been a while since I've seen one of those, other then my own useless blogs that is. :) 1. To the locksmith. $396 you stupid shit should have gotten me your ass in here holding that door shut personally! It's 2 freaking locks keyed to a master key. I worked in the tool coral at Depot nimrod- I used to re key locks all the fucking time. It's not rocket science. Duh. 2. The fact that you had to come back a second time because you screwed up the first two times proves to me you are an idiot & I am presenting the bill to the building manager. She suggested using you. God only knows why. 3. The building manager-in regards to the stupid look on your face when I presented you with the bill a few minutes ago. Yes, you said I HAD to use that dumb ass so YOU are reimbursing me for his shoddy workmanship. Lady, your door, your office, I'll kick it down. I've got better things to do with my time then stand there & let you stare at me in open mouthed stupidity like some stupid mouth breather born in the backwoods of hokey phinokey swamp. Deal with it. 4. To the fax ad service that will not remove my fax machine number from your dialing list no matter how many times I've requested you to do so: I have YOUR fax # now & I plan on using it. Repeatedly. As I fax you black sheets of paper continuously on the auto dialer so it uses up your toner cartridges. Yes, you've pissed me off now! Please enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed your useless repetitive faxes on low cost dental plans & siding estimates! pssssssssst nimrod- I live in a stucco sided house why the hell do I want shitty looking siding? Dumb ass. 5. Yes I know what a deadline is. I also know what 4 cylinders of helium & oxygen look like when they've been tossed out of a second story window on top of some one's sorry ass the last time they complained to me about a deadline. I plead limb spasticity from my stroke. Sorry, I can't control that palsied cheese grater shake in my left arm all the time & loud noises irritate it into movement. So that fly that farted 2 blocks away shortly after you walked out of my building preempted the fatal strike of the canisters flying out aforementioned window. Oops. My bad. Blame the stroke.