My husband says I'm snarky-go figure.

I'm not sure why the man says I'm snarky...OK strike that comment from the record. I DO know why and I'm OK with it. In fact, I'm more then OK, it's a genetic trait encoded so deeply into my DNA that I couldn't bleach it out if I tried. As if I'd even bother to try. Bah! Let's see, I guess his "official" notice of my snarkiness came a couple of months...um.... days...... um........hours......um oh alright SECONDS OK? There I admitted it. You'd have thought the man would remember my sarcasticness from high school, but that was 20 years ago, and normal human beings due tend to change over the years. not me, the only "changing" I did-was to get MORE snarky, so says my family. Sigh. Bunch of wannabes. Ok, so I admit that when hubby says something (read just about anybody actually but he falls into it more then most because he sees me the most), I sometimes can't help myself. It is just too amusing to me to leave it alone. And sometimes, you can see him hold his breath & get big eyed because he realized he just left himself wide open for it. Sigh. It's so easy- like shooting fish in a barrel. Still fun though! Let me give one or two examples & you'll see why I just can't help myself: 1. Me: Honey, it's cold in here. Him: Our house? Me: Nope, the neighbors house. ( I never even stopped what I was doing at the time when I replied on this one. 2. Me: Hey baby, wanna have sex? Him: With me? Me: Nope, I was talking to myself in the mirror again. I slept on the couch for that one that night. 3. Me: Is this done enough for you? I was holding open a slice of steak to make sure it was at his Medium status that he likes. Notice I said FOR you & not TO you? Him: Are you cooking that for me? Me: Nope, I wanted your opinion on the dog's food. Once again, I was subjected to a very large sigh on his part for my answer. I have TONS more, I mean come on....we've been together for the last four years and there have been so many creative & unique opportunities to be myself. Although dinners with his family are tough for me. I have to watch what I say in case I might drop an F-bomb in front of any of them, or for the fact that my quick replies may just get hubby disinherited. It IS fun watching Jeff's eyes bug out of his head when his father sets himself up. It hurts for me to hold back- like really bad gas after Mexican food. But it is amazing to watch hubby turn about thirty shades of blue from holding his breath as he watches me converse with his parents. Snickering. I've taken to keeping my feet just out of his reach under the dinner table so he can't kick me to shut me up. It's funny as hell to go through because he checks for my legs or feet placement after we sit down, I move them, he lashes out with his toe & kicks a chair or table leg instead. Which in turn rocks the table & he lets out a yelp & everyone looks at him.. I just glance very blandly & innocently at him & say: you OK honey? You really do need to be more careful you know. I had to share this. I must agree with hubby when he calls me snarky though, I have taken the 12 step program for it & come to terms with my sarcastic sense of humor. I was born with it. I have a bunch more I'll post up & share later, some REALLY good ones but seeing as I'm at work & actually HAVE to do something today.... tootles!